Musings at Altitude

I had an early wake up call this morning, catching the hotel shuttle to the airport at 4:15 and on a plane and out onto the tarmac by 5:45.  These early morning flights are filled with people snoring and then a rush to exit the plane upon arrival at the destination to get to the bathroom which they didn’t use on the plane because they were sleeping!  This first leg was completely uneventful – it was the second leg of the flight that caused me to shake my head in utter amazement at human behavior.

As a 1K flyer, I have the privilege of boarding early on United flights.  I was the 3rd person on the plane and buckled into my window seat at 6A.  As others started coming onto the plane, a family of 5 boarded and were assigned 4A, 4B, 5A, 5B, and 6B right next to me.  The mother looked obviously agitated as she buckled in the car seat of her young child in 5A.  The father got his other two children into 4A and 4B, and then he came back and sat down next to me while the mother was up front talking to the cabin crew.  The father told me about the struggle he had with the ticket agent trying to get seats together, and how it really wasn’t a good idea for his two kids to be up in the 4th row all by themselves.  Both got seriously nervous when flying, causing them to use the air sick bags often during the flight.  With 2, 2, and 1 seating, there was no good way for them to split up because any one of the children sitting by themselves would be even more nervous than if the two children were sitting together.

After a couple of minutes, the mother came back and told the father that the only way to re-position was to convince one of the aisle seat individuals to give up their seat so they could get a 3 and 2 seating arrangement.  They asked the gentleman sitting in 4C if they could switch with him, and he immediately said no since he wanted an aisle seat.  They asked the lady in 6C if she would consider switching and she said she’d had her aisle seat for months.  The person in 5C had not yet arrived. 

About this time, their oldest daughter in 4B gave in to the fear of flying for the first of many times during the flight as she used the air sick bag.  After realizing that this was not going to be a one time occurrence, the flight attendants provided the family with bigger trash bags to use for the rest of the flight.  Amazingly, when the oldest daughter threw up this first time, the gentleman in 4C that wouldn’t give up his aisle seat calmly moved down the aisle and stood while the mother took care of her daughter.  When this first episode was over, the occupant of 4C calmly came back and sat right back down next to the girl that just threw up.  He wasn’t bothered or concerned at all about what just happened.

When things had settled down (we were still at the gate with the door open), I asked the father how long they had been traveling.  He said they had just arrived from Hawaii and were connecting to that flight to New Orleans.  The mother – who was still standing at the ready in case of another episode – told me that her husband had just gotten back from Iraq one month earlier, just in time for their household goods to be shipped out of Hawaii for their new duty station in Florida.  They had been living in a hotel for a month in advance of this permanent change of station.  They had lived in Hawaii for 4 years, and their kids were very scared of flying.  They were heading to New Orleans to pick up their car (it had been shipped) and then they’d drive over to Florida.

By the time she was done telling me their story, the holder of 5C came down the aisle, an older gentleman, probably 75 or 80 years old.  He was her final hope.  I told her to ask him if he’d take the window seat if I moved over to the middle, thus taking the issue of that dreaded middle seat off the table.  Without even asking questions, the older gentleman said sure, and we re-positioned, let him in the row with us, and we all got back in our seats.

The mother sat right in front of me in 5B with her car-seat-strapped-in child in 5A and her oldest and most nauseated daughter sitting next to her in 5C.  The father went up to 4B and buckled in next to his middle child in 4A.  The daughter in 5C continued to use the air sick bag throughout the entire flight.  She never was able to settle down and rest for the entire two and a half hours.  As she continued to throw up, the lady beside me in 6C calmly pulled out her brought on board lunch of a sandwich and cookie.  As the young lady in front of her threw up, she calmly chewed her food, looking up every now and then just to see what was happening.

You gotta wonder what people are thinking today and why no one would give up their seat for this family that just needed a helping hand.  They were obviously stressed from an already very long trip.  They obviously needed to be close to their children, and you couldn’t have had more proof than the first episode with the air sick bag before we even all got buckled in.  You gotta wonder what was going through the mind of the guy that calmly moved so the mother could take care of her child when she threw up and then he calmly went right back to that very same seat without any acknowledgement of the tough situation that existed.  You also have to wonder about the woman sitting next to me that wouldn’t give up her seat either and calmly ate her meal while the mother took care of her daughter as she was throwing up right in front of this lady.  Have we really become that immune to the trauma around us and are we really that non-caring about the situation of other people.  I’m not sure I can think of a more important reason to give up that aisle seat than to help this family, and yet neither of those two would, and thank God for the older gentleman who didn’t even hesitate when asked (without even being given a reason).

I was in a position to watch this family from behind during the entire trip.  Not once did the mother or father exit the kind, caring, concerned and comforting role and become cranky or aggressive with their kids.  When the baby cried or the daughter threw up, the mother responded with love and compassion.  The father took care of the middle child up in front and the mother took care of the two right in front of me.  I was impressed and inspired with their patience throughout the entire flight.

I see examples of kindness and compassion quite frequently as I travel, but unfortunately, I see way too many examples of the callousness of people as well.  Today took the cake though when two people seeing a clear need decided their seats were too important to show any compassion.

You gotta wonder.