Musings at Altitude

I have 4 very different but often times very connected “areas of operation” in my life right now: 

• work
• home
• church
• altitude

Based on the pressures, the chaos, the tenacity of efforts, the complexity of the challenges, or the urgency of personal crisis, one or more of these areas may rise and take priority.  It’s rare that two can share “top priority”, but the challenges of today often create that conflict and thus the tension between each of these areas.   

At work, in this past year I’ve been literally on my knees in prayer when things did not go right.  In that worship, I found peace and I found smiles.  And things miraculously worked out.  At home, with family and friends, we’ve had challenges with health, with loss of life, and with financial distress, but in prayer and in worship, we found comfort and we found smiles.  And though we didn’t always find answers, we always found blessings in the middle of those storms.  At church, in times of disobedience or times of great questioning, I found sanctuary, forgiveness and answers and through worship I found love and peace amidst the shame and doubting.  And at altitude, in the serenity of a quiet plane, I put on my favorite music and lost myself in thoughts and prayer, and in those quiet moments I sought and often found wisdom, and in that wisdom I found peace. 

I’ve begun to see so very clearly the one common tie between all 4 areas of operation in my life – worship.  When I have issues or seek answers, through worship I find peace; through worship, I find comfort; through worship I find smiles. 

In times of great pressure and great uncertainty at work, I turn to worship, and through that worship the pressure eases and the uncertainty slowly (sometimes quickly!) fades away.  In times of personal crisis at home, I turn to worship and in that worship I find love and through that love I find comfort in that crisis.  In times of doubt or questions in my faith, I turn to worship at church and in that worship my doubts are removed and my questions answered.  And in times of great stress in any area of my life, I turn to worship at altitude and in the wonderful serenity of that connectionless world, I truly can “touch the face of God”.

But it’s time for a moment of honesty.  I see and have personally experienced how a prayerful relationship with Christ can bring so much peace and so many smiles to my life through the worship that He so richly deserves.  And yet, I still try to solve the problems on my own first.  I find myself getting back to the “heart of worship” only after struggling mightily to overcome the challenges on my own and then failing.  I have to be the most stubborn person in the world if I see the wonderful peace from worship so clearly and yet always use it as a “fallback position”.

So this is more of a confession than a testimony, and more of a challenge to myself than encouragement to others.  It’s time for me to truly focus on the heart of worship and do that first, not last.