Travel Jollies
I’m still on my journey home to Colorado Springs from Washington DC. This 3 hour flight from DC to Denver and then a 20 minute connection from Denver to Colorado Springs has instead taken 5 hours from DC to Denver (had to divert to Colorado Springs for fuel) and now a 2 hour wait for that 20 minute connection from Denver to Colorado Springs. This is the second time in 2 months that my flight into Denver has been diverted to my home town of Colorado Springs to get fuel while weather cells forced holding patterns to get into Denver. The first time I was terminating in Denver and then driving to Colorado Springs – sure wish I could have deplaned in Colorado Springs. This time I was connecting through Denver to Colorado Springs as my destination – sure wish I could have deplaned in Colorado Springs! But no…the system isn’t set up to allow you to deplane for a quick refueling even if it is your destination.
So, I’ve been thinking. Here are some new understandings of air travel language:
(1) Splash & Go – I’m a NASCAR fan, and a splash & go is a 3 second pit stop and then the car is back in the race; in travel language, when the pilot comes on and says we’re going to do a splash & go, that’s 45 minutes to an hour – there really is no such thing; if you get 15 minutes of fuel, you get at least 15 minutes more of paperwork; but the truck is never ready to fuel when you get there and the paperwork is never delivered right when complete – thus 45 minutes to an hour
(2) when the pilot says, “this will be real quick”, he really means 45 minutes to an hour; the first clue is when they shut down the engines; the second clue is when they say “go ahead and get up and move around the cabin”; the third clue is when he walks out of the cockpit area and meanders towards the back joking with the passengers; and the fourth and final clue is when the lead flight attendant pulls out her cell phone and calls home and says “we’ll be on the ground here at least 45 minutes to an hour”
(3) when the flight attendants say “go ahead and use the lavatories”, what she doesn’t say is “we have lavatories for 172 people for a 3 hour flight and if we’re taking 5 hours to get to our destination then the tanks will be full and the smell will be enormously bad”; I think I’d rather have her be honest and say, “if you can hold it till we finally get to Denver please do – take a whiff and you’ll know why”
(4) when the flight attendant says “I don’t know but I’ll ask the pilot” that really means “ain’t no way, but I don’t want to be the one to tell you”
Even with the detours and the frustrations, I’m hoping to get home this evening to be home for 36 hours before turning right back around and going right back to where I started from. Yep…travel jollies.