Guest Blog!- a Daughter’s View (part 1)

HI Everyone!!!! I am the 14 year old who gives my dad a lot to write about but i am awesome like that! Anyways i am doing a guest blog about my dad and other random stuff that i like to write about. So since i am 14 i dont use big words like my dad does but then again i dont go to Dictionary.com to find big words to use like he does! LOL! So i know all of you guys reading this laughs at what i do to annoy my dad (which is really fun) but then again i laugh to, but i think its time to laugh at my dad for once. so all of my dad’s friends and family get to see how he really is at home!

Ok so i want all of you guys to meet Hygiene Man: My Daddy!!!   He is very anal about hygeine! when i come down the stairs, the first thing he says to me is “did you brush your teeth.” My response: “yup!” but of coarse thats not the end of the conversation. “ Well did you brush them twice?” Now i know brushing your teeth is important but do i really need to brush them twice in a row when the first time i brushed them was 2 min. ago? I mean come on! Thats also the reason why he doesnt like to have lazy days where you just stay in you p.js all day, cuz he couldnt stand not taking a shower! i love lazy days, even though during the school year its hard to do!

The Other thing you dont know about me and my dad  is that i get everything from him just about! Such as:

1. my no rhythm:i cant even clap and sing at the same time! neither can he though so its ok

2. my weirdness: i bet my dad doesnt act weird when you guys see him cuz he is at work but at home he is different, especially when he tries to copy what i do like when i am really excited and jumping all around(its scary!)

3. oh and my prissiness: now i know my dad doesnt seem prissy but when he is talking on the phone, he stands with one hand on his hip and stands like i do which according to my mom and sister is very prissy! (lol)                                                                                                                                                                  

I bet you guys learned more about my dad today didnt you! i am glad i could teach you something new!! JK!

And just to let you know (i am guessing you dont care but just incase you do) Hockey Season starts in 61 DAYS!!!!!!! YAY!!! i cant wait! GO AVS!!!

Bye guys!!!! i will write another one soon hopefully!!!

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Life with a 14 Year Old (14)

As is typical, when I get home from a week long trip, the first hour (never much longer than that) is spent in the obligatory hugs and histories.  My 14 year old wants me to know immediately the important things that have gone on in her life.  Since we got in so late last night, that “first hour home” was pushed off till this morning over breakfast. 

I was in the kitchen getting things together to cook some eggs.  My 14 year old comes in with her typically early morning too perky for life attitude (how many folks actually joyfully bounce like that in the morning?) and gives me a hug and in some bizarre twist of talking about wanting eggs to seeing her shoes, she runs back upstairs and comes back down with her new shoes. 

Just for quick background, while I was out in DC, my three girls (my wife, my last week of pregnancy oldest, and my entering high school youngest) went shopping…seemingly every single day…because the 14 year old is entering high school and thus must be decked out in the latest fashions…which now apparently includes shoes…lots of shoes…more than any human being needs in shoes.

It was a running joke all week long that every time we talked or texted she was out buying shoes.  She would typically end the dialogue with “jk” – just kidding – or “not really” or something like that.  So when she bounced back into the kitchen carrying 7 new pairs of shoes, I had to look at her mother with incredible disbelief.  Human beings don’t need that many shoes…that many shoes means that many combinations of clothes…that many shoes means that many more shoes that will only be worn once or twice a month getting virtually no return on whatever investment they incurred.

So while I cracked eggs, my 14 year old goes through her selections something like this – “here’s my new flip flops; here’s another pair of flip flops; here’s another pair of flip flops; here’s some new cool shoes; here’s some new pretty shoes; here’s…” 

I looked at her Mom and she was just smiling.  Earlier in the week when all this clothes shopping was occurring, I asked her Mom is she really buying that many shoes and her Mom assured me that we bought her two pairs and if she wanted more she’d have to buy them herself.  As my 14 year old was going through her weekly haul of new purchases, my incredibly old cash register in my brain was adding up the cost and coming to a level of required cash that had to be far more than the discretionary money my 14 year old would have.  So having this important data point, I looked at my wife and asked “who paid for these”?  She raised her eyebrow and said “I did”!  And that was that.

When it comes to girls, I have the sense of orbiting outside their existence and then anytime I enter that orbit I get confused or better termed bemused about what’s going on.  My wife was the most frugal person I ever knew – till our first child entered her teenage years.  My wife was the most practical and realistic person I ever knew – till our first child introduced the soon to arrive grandchild and then all practicality ceased to exist.  And now my youngest is entering her high school years and my wife still states her frugal and practical side before the buying begins and then becomes one of them once the door to the store opens and the three of them enter together.

As I sit here pondering this now, I realize how fortunate I am that I have other things to distract me (like business travel) and how lucky I am that the girls in my life enjoy stuff like this together.  But I also realize that times are changing – big time – with my youngest entering her high years.  I think I need to upgrade that cash register in my brain.

One final note – as I was cooking my eggs something stupid happened (can’t remember what – it was a half hour ago and well beyond my memory capacity) and my 14 year old popped off “GJ Dad”.  Thanks to the wonderful world of text messaging, she doesn’t talk in words anymore but only the acronyms.  GJ obviously means “great job”.  So not only do I have to put up with her new buying habits and show my excitement as she depletes our check book, but I also have to learn a new language that sometimes is as simple as GJ, but most of the time creates enormous mental strain to try and figure the words out.

I guess now I need to track my time at home this way – “I have two shopping days till I leave again” – oh the bliss of 37,000 feet.

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Altitude?

I spent 3 hours at 37,000 feet today, and now I’m sitting on the ramp at an alternative landing site waiting for fuel before heading to our destination in Denver.  We diverted to Colorado Springs which is only 20 miles from my home, but we’re all staying on the plane and then flying to Denver which is 75 miles from my home.  There are 10 planes on the ground in front of us and at least that many it seems behind us, and probably the busiest this airport has been in a while.

While at altitude I started thinking about what leadership really means and how the mood of any team is so dramatically affected by the mood of the leader.  I also thought about how the behaviors of an organization will change during the mood swings of the leader.  When the mood is upbeat with reason for excitement, folks bring their issues and questions and ideas to that leader and look forward to positive momentum resulting.  When the mood is downcast or sullen, team members often times completely avoid the leader, putting off important discussions or decisions and waiting hopefully till the mood has changed and action can be taken.  According to my good friend John, “hope is not a strategy”, so during this period of anxious hoping, the organization could very well be combat disabled or at least impacted enough to greatly slow down things and create chaos.  Any impact is bad, so the mood of the leader could seriously affect the attitude and thus altitude of the organization.

In thinking through the attitude of a leader, great organizations recognize the moods and subsequent behavior of their leader, and they automatically (and smartly) look for alternative paths to get things done.  The best team members will work something else aggressively until the leader gets back on track, and take critical issues to a second in command (if at all possible) rather than burden the leader with the issues during those toughest times.  Also according to my good friend John, “leaders don’t lead alone”, so others in the organization can pick up the organizational slack during these moodiest of times if the leader has created that type of structure that rewards organizational momentum even during the moodiest of times. 

It’s probably irrational to think that any particular leader can be upbeat and on their “A” game all the time…but it is very rational to think that good leaders will empower their teams to take alternative action to keep the business wheels in motion when the “C” game appears.  During those valleys of emotion, it’s also very possible that good teams with respected leaders will find ways to minimize the downs and pull that leader back up much more quickly than would have probably happened without intervention.  That intervention can come in the form of affirmation, or a good win, or a note of thanks for that leader’s support, and with each positive stimulus the leader very well may climb their way out of that emotional abyss and back into that rarified air of business excitement.

I think I’m a fairly upbeat person (we probably all do), but I find myself often times during my greatest disappointments sinking deeply into a funk that could last from hours to days.  I’ll be pretty dejected after a long staff meeting where nothing gets accomplished or on day 5 of a 5 day board week.  Long meetings where I have to try and stay mentally focused bring me down, while short bursts of exciting talk with our team members pumps me up.  The ideal day for me would be critical meetings that last no more than a half hour and then lots of five to ten minute meetings getting updates from those fighting the war and getting better acquainted with all those on the team that aren’t bureacrats but are warriors.

Unfortunately, the bigger the company, the longer the meetings, and the longer the meetings the less seems to be accomplished.  Also unfortunately, the bigger the company the greater the attendance at the meetings and with attendance comes a strong desire for each attendee to prove their intelligence and to contribute some nugget of brilliance that can then make them smile and sense that promotion just around the corner.

Yes, I hate meetings.  In fact, I’m a big believer that most things shared in meetings could be shared through email to a wide distribution list and then the meetings could be reserved for those critically strategic discussions where the dialogue can’t effectively be captured through email.  It’s amazing how so many of those add on participants add no value when the dialogue gets strategic because it takes more than a sound nugget of input to be important in the dialogue and it takes conviction and confidence in the debate to be relevant.

Well the fuel truck is leaving and then engines will be starting momentarily.  We have a quick taxi as we burst out to the runway for our 18 minute flight up to Denver.  My wife is anxiously waiting there for me as I now get to overfly my house to get to her and the back track in the car back to the house then.  Thanks for listening during this brief respite in my journey!

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How Cool is That??!!

I had the fortunate opportunity to play in a charity golf event today that benefited a scholarship fund.  We were playing at a Golf Club in Clifton, Virginia, in the Washington DC area, and it was hot…incredibly hot when the clouds cleared and the sun came out, and the humidity was high.  About 2 hours into the best ball tournament, course personnel came through the course with iced wash cloths drenched in cold water for all the golfers.  What an incredible idea and what an incredible service on such a hot day to your customers, the golfers.  That was really cool!

I’m becoming enamored with those special examples of out of the ordinary service for your customers…they just seem so rare nowadays.  If you know of some and care to share, I’d love to put them out and build a list of great examples that I can begin sharing with others whenever I get the opportunity.

If you don’t have any examples, look more closely now and I bet you find a few!

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Attitude

Over the last decade, I’ve participated in more board meetings than I care to admit, either as an executive on a team briefing the board or as a board member.  In almost every board meeting I’ve been part of, the attitude of the board was influenced primarily by the attitude of the team both leading up to the meeting and during the meeting itself.  Only rarely was a negative attitude of the board at the start turned to positive by the end of the meeting.  And even more rarely was a positive attitude of the board turned negative during the coarse of a board meeting. 

I’ve been privileged to watch some tremendously talented people “work” their boards.  The influencing process starts weeks before the board meeting convenes and it ends shortly after the board meeting adjourns.  In companies that are working through investment capital as they build product or establish competencies in a service business, the good leaders realize that the information provided to the board in the build up to the meeting is critical to set the tone.  If the board perceives strong stewardship of their investment, they come into that board meeting with excitement for what is going to be presented and they are rarely disappointed.  If the board perceives waste or spending in advance of plan, they come into the meeting with concern and caution, and the job of the leader becomes incredibly challenging to change the perceptions and the tone of the board. 

In companies that are beyond the investment phase, the attitude of the board is typically determined by their belief in the acceptability of the income being delivered.  If they believe that the net income is appropriate based on the industry, the market, and the phase of the company, then optimism abounds.  If they believe that the net income is flawed in some way (even if large in raw numbers), then those concerns will come out at some point during the board presentation.  Good leaders will recognize the possible questions that will be raised based on the numbers that they will present, and they’ll begin to steer the thinking of the board to the rational reasons for the numbers to be where they are.  Good boards in turn will drill down on those numbers to determine the believability and acceptability of that story, and they will reach harmony with that good leader before the board meeting adjourns. 

In reality, even those companies that are beyond the “investment” phase are still investing.  Every penny they spend that could have been put to the bottom line is coming out of the pockets of their investors…instead of cash in, it’s cash not going out.  Good boards can see through the spending and come to their own conclusions about the level of income that should be returned to the investors.  Good leaders can recognize whether the board can or can’t sense the required levels of spending, and they will in turn guide the board to the appropriate level of spend to meet the stated expectations.

But back to attitude…I enjoy board meetings where the passion and the stewardship of the team comes out and the appreciation of the board is clearly conveyed.  When the company is doing phenomenally well and the executive team comes into the board meeting flat (for whatever reason), the attitude of the board is muted.  Typically, the board members don’t do well as cheerleaders, so if the team members are flat, the entire meeting is flat.  When the company is struggling and the executive team comes in with confidence and optimism, that rubs off on the board and the board picks up on that confidence.  However, on the other hand, if the executive attitude is arrogance rather than confidence and irrational exuberance rather than optimism, that drives scrutiny instead of confidence from the board regardless of the state of the company.

When I’m a board member, I prefer to be briefed by those leaders who understand how much influence they have on my attitude.  In a sense, they are selling the board (and thus me) on the performance of the company and their performance as leaders every single time they interact with the board.  For those leaders I really trust, when they are up, I’m up.  If they are down, I’m down.  For those leaders I’m yet to trust, when they are up, I ask quite a few more questions, but I typically leave optimistic.  For those leaders I don’t trust (some of you are probably asking “why are they leaders then” – good question!), when they are up, I’m skeptical, and when they are down, I know deep trouble has arrived!

 

 

 

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Humility

Today was an emotional day at church.  Our Pastor, who has been with the church for 15 years, gave his last sermon at this church as he and his family move on to a new church and a new flock to shepherd.  He used this last sermon to remind us of a tremendous example of humility in John the Baptist.  As recorded in the Book of John, the followers of John the Baptist grew increasingly concerned as the crowds that typically surrounded him during his preaching grew smaller while the crowds around Jesus grew larger immediately following his baptism.  When John’s disciples confronted him with that issue, John the Baptist said, “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30).  You see, John the Baptist came to get things ready for the Messiah, and now that the Messiah had come, he admitted, accepted, and took his place as less than the Messiah.

As our Pastor preached from this passage from the Bible, you could sense the emotion building and the tears soon to come.  After 15 years at this church, our Pastor was leaving behind a legacy of faithful service and a congregation of beloved friends and followers.  But with this passage, he reminded all of us that our faith was not pointed towards him and our love for him was not what anchored our church; instead, our faith was anchored in Christ, and even though our Pastor was moving on to another challenge in another state, our anchor never changed.  The one that John the Baptist cheered in ascent so long ago is still the one where “He must become greater, and I must become less.”

Good leaders have a special place in the hearts of those they lead.  Good Pastors take leadership to a very special level because they fill the spiritual reservoir of those they shepherd.  Our Pastor was that type of leader and he will be sorely missed.   But in his own parting words he reminded us that our faith can’t be anchored in him but instead in the one that suffered and died on a cross for all of us and in his death showed us the ultimate act of a good shepherd who cared for his flock. 

The service ended today with Michael W. Smith’s song, “Friends”.  The chorus goes like this:

“And friends are friends forever, if the Lord’s the Lord of them;

And a friend will not say never, cause the welcome will not end.

Though it’s hard to let you go, in the Father’s hands we’ll know

That a lifetime’s not to long to live as friends.”

Our Pastor will be greatly missed, but through his leadership at our church, he’s made friends that will last a lifetime.

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Change (6)

I mentioned earlier that so many of my friends in companies across this country are going through enormous change in their organizations.  Most fully embrace the change and are champions of change.  Even so, the impacts are great, and the ability to measure success as a result of change takes an enormously long time.

As I look forward to change in our organization, I continue to think back to one of my favorite songs by the Scorpions – “The winds of change”.  They were celebrating the Berlin Wall coming down and the approaching end of the Cold War.  “Did you ever think that we could be so close like brothers.”  What a great line, and what a great nirvanic goal for any change that occurs.

Unfortunately, business change is rarely met with such incredible optimism and such lofty goals.  Since most companies and most people are reactive and not proactive, change comes not from optimism but from pessimism, and change comes not to create closeness in those affected by change but more likely to create cost reductions by eliminating folks through change.  In the “Winds of Change”, that wind brought new hope, renewed relationships, and revived spirits.  In business change, that wind more often than not brings new worries, fractured relationships, and destroyed spirits.  But it doesn’t have to be that catastrophic…we just often times through our actions (or lack thereof), our poor communications, our limited awareness and our poor preparation end up allowing it to.  We end up living through a hurricane in the winds of change within our business.

Speaking of hurricanes, on August 17, 1969, my Dad took my family to the beach front in Biloxi, Mississippi, and checked us into the Buena Vista Hotel.  He was employed by a TV station that had their studio on the ground floor of the hotel, and with Hurricane boring down on the coast, he needed to be at the station and he needed us close to him.  I remember my Dad and other members of the station sand bagging till it became obvious that the rising tide wouldn’t stop, and then he joined us in the upper floors of the hotel to ride out the 200 mile per hour winds and the 25 foot storm surge.  I was only 8 years old then, but I remember being scared beyond belief as the leading edge of the storm hit and the windows of the hotel began to blow inward.   The water kept rising into the hotel, and the entire hotel swayed in the wind.  I remember the eye passing over and the incredible sense of calm, maybe even a sense of peace that then occurred…I thought it was over.  And then the back side of the hurricane launched its fury, bringing more destruction and more despair. 

After the hurricane passed, there were moments of disbelief as the damage was surveyed and a sense of complete helplessness set in.  But pretty shortly thereafter, folks begin focusing on recovery and they banded together to rebuild.  In that rebuilding process we ended up with a gulf coast that was much different and some would say much stronger than before.  Unfortunately, they are rebuilding again now after Hurricane Katrina devastated them once again with an even higher tidal surge that completely destroyed the beach front this time.  What Camille left, Katrina seemingly took away.

Business change can often times be like a hurricane.  As the business storm of change approaches, some people will do the necessary things to prepare, knowing that the change will be painful and knowing also that the magnitude of change may not be known till the change process begins.  Others will go to the beach front wanting to see the leading edge of that storm and in some cases even go out on the incredibly and unusually high waves that warn of the approaching storm.  In business, some folks will head to the business beach assuming all will be well and anxiously wanting to see what that storm of change will look like not ever thinking it will impact them.  And yet others will see and hear the news of the approaching storm and instead of preparing, they’ll continue with business as usual assuming that all will be fine and even if the storm hits it won’t affect them.

When the storm of change hits, reality will set in for all of those who are still in the path of that storm.  As the change process intensifies, those who have prepared begin using those preparations to their advantage.  Their preparation will allow them to weather the storm of change better than all others.  During the height of change though, all who are in those winds of change will be impacted and even some will be lost – some by their own chosing and others to meet the prescribed goals of the change program.  But those that didn’t prepare and blindly assume that all will be well will be caught up in a storm that will have great consequence to them personally and to much of their team.  There’s not much worse than being blind to the storm or being arrogant in the face of the storm.

After the leading edge of the change storm passes, a lull occurs where folks can find peace, where a sense of stability and serenity emerges even with the evidence of the storm all around.  During this period, those who prepared quickly assess and fortify, because they know more change will shortly follow.  They maximize this time in the lull to communicate heavily, to embrace those that may have been impacted significantly, and to encourage those that are so anxiously waiting the back edge of the change storm.  In many cases, during this quiet time, those that weren’t prepared originally (or were so arrogant to think that change would not affect them) can quickly take steps to prepare for that next wave.  Their preparations may be limited at this point because of all the change that has already taken place, but any preparation at any time is better than no preparation at all.

After the eye of the change storm passes, the high winds of change return as a phase two typically is implemented.  In a hurricane, the winds prior to the eye rotate a different direction than the winds after the eye.  In change, that may happen as well.  The winds of change prior may be preliminary steps to get to a stable platform to further change from.  After the lull, the winds may change direction causing even more impact to the organization, but setting the stage for something very special to emerge.

When the winds of change cease, the goal for any organization is to be better structured, better aligned, better prepared to succeed in the markets that you are competing in.  The organization that is being restructured and often times rebuilt is hopefully so much stronger than before and so much better equipped to win in the business battle. 

In actual hurricanes, the fear and uncertainty intensifies when communications is lost.  In business change, the same thing happens.  Today, we focus intensely on having robust communications channels and tremendous diversity in connectivity for routing.  That minimizes the damages to our communications networks in times of such disasters and greatly facilitates restoration when inevitable losses do occur.  In business, we need to do the same thing – fortify our communications during times of stability and success and then greatly use those lines of communication during the intensity of any change process.

In any change like with any hurricane (regardless of intensity), damage will occur, recovery will be needed, and champions and leaders will emerge.  Some people will be heroes and step out to lead those recovery efforts.  Others will need to be led, but will be equally important to the organization.  All will need to feel supported and respected throughout.

Once the change process has concluded, it is essential that everyone in our business community are aligned and focused on that next wave of growth and that next level of success.  We better be, because even with some respite in the traumatic winds of our business environment, another hurricane will always be sitting somewhere off shore, pointing its angry winds at our business foundation.

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Big Challenge

I greatly enjoy the few days a year I get to work at home, but my family sometimes makes it awfully hard for me to focus on the conference calls, the budget reviews and the strategic plan discussions when they are standing at the door like this:

Could you be serious in your required work if this was staring at you through the door?

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Life with a 14 Year Old (13)

My 14 year old asked my wife yesterday, “why don’t you get an F-150?”  When my wife asked why, my daughter responded, “because then you can give me the free Ford Fusion or Focus”!  Apparently, one of our car dealerships here in town has a new strategy for pushing the big trucks by giving away one of the small cars as an incentive.  The ad says, “buy the truck and then you’ll have a smaller car more fuel efficient to drive around in.”  And the desperation sets in.

So, my wife told the 14 year old that we don’t want the truck and my 14 year old said, “then just sell it”!  Oh if it were just that simple.

We have 4 years to pass on the wisdom of the world to our 14 year old.  More importantly, she has 4 more years to pass on the wisdom of a 14, then 15, then 16, then 17 and then 18 year old to us!  I’m going to truly enjoy these 4 years!

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Ode to My Car

This is a very special day for me…a day that has never happened before and a day that may very well never happen again…here’s what happened:

 

I got my car almost 8 years ago in the first model year of its existence.  My business partner asked me if we should both get company cars, and I immediately said “absolutely”.  When I went to the dealer, they had a long waiting list (it was popular from the start) and I was destined to wait a few months to get the car I wanted – black exterior, black interior, and special molding.  As luck would have it, within days, the dealer called me back and said “a buyer just backed out…do you want his car?”  It was the same as the one I wanted.  I got there in what seemed like minutes, and she’s been with me ever since. 

In her, I commuted 75 miles each way to work for almost 2 years.  In her, I ran into the back of a lady in the car in front of me when I was reaching to pick up my blackberry (fortunately no one was hurt, but unfortunately, she worked for a law firm).  In her, I ran over multiple reflector poles on the center divider of the highway when I fell asleep at the wheel.  In her, I drove numerous times from Colorado to Los Angeles for reserve duty.  In her, I got caught by a highway patrol aircraft on the highway in Nevada and got a speeding ticket.  In her, my wife backed out of the driveway and scraped up her side on the pole holding up our basketball rim.  In her, I picked up a metal spike and blew a tire on the interstate in Louisiana (fortunately right at an exit ramp).  In her, I drove cross country when I moved our family to Washington DC.  In her, I drove to way to many to count Colorado Avalanche hockey games.  In her, I’ve driven south to Las Cruces and north into Wyoming.  And in her, I’ve had 200,000 miles of great pleasure as I’ve toured this magnificent country and seen through her windshield the purple mountain’s majesty, the amber waves of grain and the sea to shining sea.

I rarely (if ever) enjoy something or value something so much.  But I’ve treasured this car more than most any other physical possession I have ever owned.  I don’t know why, and I’m probably not going to dwell on it very long, but it is worth noting.  Based on my stock portfolio performance since about 2000, she’s also the smartest investment I have ever made, but hopefully she won’t be the smartest investment I will ever make!

And finally, I can’t tell you how many wonderful dates I’ve had in this car, and I certainly won’t tell you what was done on those dates in this car.  But I will tell you that her sleek exterior and leather interior made each and every one of those hundreds of dates something very special.

I don’t know how much longer I’ll keep her or how much longer she’ll live, but I’m committed to enjoying her till the day she dies.  That’s a very appropriate gift to her for her long service and great value that she’s given me.  I hope my wife treats me that way when I’ve got that many miles on me!

In case you were wondering, here she is!

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