Musings at Altitude

After almost 3 straight years of traveling (typically flying somewhere 48 weeks out of the year), I finally get business responsibilities near home here in Colorado Springs and stay home for the first of three weeks straight and my wife decides to take advantage of that and head to Wyoming to be with her grandbaby.  With my wife gone, I’ve had to take on the additional responsibilities of being mom and dad to my 14 year old, and she has taken maximum advantage of that as she plants seeds for all the things she wants that she very well knows her mom would immediately say “get real” on.

Today for example.  My 14 year old and her best friend forever (BFF) have decided that they need to go shopping to get a present for a friend (her birthday), to look for a dress for homecoming, and to look for Halloween costumes.  Since I’m a guy, I fully understand the present thing – that’s a must get – but I can’t possibly understand the need to go shopping for a homecoming dress three weeks out (or maybe at all) and I certainly can’t understand the shopping for a Halloween costume thing when we’re almost two months out!  And one more important thing – after 25 years of marriage, I’m not nearly stupid enough to let her buy a homecoming dress today without the ever scrutinizing eyes of my wife on that dress and how she looks before buying it!

Since I now have to honor that commitment to take my daughter and her BFF shopping, I was up fairly early this morning getting my routine things done and it dawned on me while cooking my eggs that since I committed to taking them shopping that I also now committed to hanging around to have the credit card ready to pay for stuff.  It also dawned on me that since my 14 year old would gag to have me shopping with her and I would gag walking around with them while they were shopping that I’d have to hang out somewhere in the general proximity of their location with credit card in hand in anxious anticipation of the text message from my 14 year old saying “register 2 in GAP” or something like that.  Since she wants to go to a fairly high end strip mall with mostly clothes boutiques, there aren’t any great stores for me to shop in unless I’m looking for candles or something chic for my wife.  I guess I could go hang out at California Pizza Kitchen, or Champps, or PF Changs at 9:30 in the morning, but I’m not sure that’s possible or appropriate and I’m definitely not hungry after wolfing down my 4 egg omelette.  There is also a Starbucks in the general vicinity, but I’ve committed to myself to limit my number of quad grande soy with whip caramel machiato’s to no more than 4 per week, and if my current count is accurate (after 3 pumpkin spice latte’s yesterday), I’m already at 7 high cost but very tasty coffee treats for this week alone with two more coffee drinking days till Monday for the coffee reset.  What an incredible dilemma!   Even worse, this is a Saturday with college football in high gear with the East Coast games already on during her prime shopping times! 

As the buildup continues to our departure for her shopping excursion, she’s popped into the office several times wanting my opinion on her makeup, to let me know her plans, to let me know through her actions that she’s ready to go, and to let me know most importantly of all that she’s found her flip flops.

I miss my wife a lot while she’s gone, but maybe never more than when I’m participating in the prep phase for a weekend shopping spree with my 14 year old.  There’s something very, very mother and daughter about this, and there’s something very, very not so father and daughter about this.  I will suffer through though, and I’ll add this time with my 14 year old to the last three nights out at dinner and all the stories I have from those to the various other stories of the last few days and I’ll have a book of things to tell my wife when she gets home this evening. 

Of course, she’ll probably look at the debit card account on line first to see what I gave in to and bought for my 14 year old and after scolding me on how I give in too quick and letting me know how “she really didn’t need that” she’ll give me a hug for not yet buying that new cell phone or I-pod touch, because after all, $100 in clothes here and there doesn’t quite add up to giving in to the $400, now-I’m-so-cool cell phone that my 14 year old really wants, and though I’ve been teetering on the edge of caving I’m still standing firm against, for now anyway! 

Comments Off on Life with a 14 Year Old (19)

A while back I talked about the reservoirs that I have – physical, emotional, and spiritual – and my challenge to keep those reservoirs filled.  My spiritual reservoir has been filled repeatedly lately by the healing of those sick, by prayers and uplifting from friends, and by the miracle of new life in our family.  My physical reservoir has been filled somewhat by long walks, time on the treadmill, and time in the gym, but not nearly enough to take me off my own form of “rationing” with the reservoir so low!  And my emotional reservoir is overflowing right now as I take on new responsibilities and I spend more time at home and more time leading people!  There is something so very fulfilling in company leadership that I will never be able to equal in a senior staff role – regardless of role.  Trying to change a system or trying to push anything through a bureaucracy of any nature and of any magnitude creates frustration beyond belief in me.  But, working to create a team culture to achieve team objectives with critical mission success on the line provides me that emotional excitement and desperate desire to succeed that I won’t ever find in a staff role.

On this beautiful Rocky Mountain morning, I’m at peace, in spite of the challenge and maybe because of that very operational challenge.  As I gaze into the mountains, my reservoirs are filled or filling up…that’s something special and here’s what I’m looking at:

On this beautiful day, I also want to say a special thank you to two very special people.  Fred and Marcia are celebrating their 54th wedding anniversary today, and their love radiates beyond belief whenever we have the privilege of seeing them together!  I always talk about seeking and touching nirvana…Fred and Marcia are clear examples of nirvana in love!  Happy Anniversary!

Comments Off on Rocky Mountain Morning

With my wife, oldest daughter and granddaughter out of town and my son (as usual) busy with other things, I got to go out on a date tonight with my 14 year old!  As usual, the verbal bantering was constant and the enlightenment I received about her life was tremendous.  For example, I learned the cell phone defines the girl and any new cell phone is cool regardless of make or model.  I also learned that some parents buy really cool cell phones for their kids and when they then lose the really cool phone it gets replaced with a cheap, not-so-cool phone.  And finally, I learned that a $300-$400 expenditure on a new, cool cell phone is not only a good thing but an expected thing even if the 14 year old must rob the college fund to do it.

I must admit though that after we got done with the spirited banter about the cell phone, our conversation turned to important events of the future.  Her first homecoming is scheduled for September 27th, and she’ll be going with a girl friend of hers.  On that same night, I have a retirement party for one of our business leaders and unfortunately my wife is out of town that evening.  Our dialogue went something like this:

Me:  So, do you expect to have a date for homecoming?

Her:  [My friend] will be my date.  If she can’t go, I won’t go.

Me:  Do you expect one of your boy friends to ask you out?

Her:  No.  Besides, I don’t want to dance.

Me:  How about being my date at a dinner that same night?

Her:  Whose dinner?

Me:  A guy at work that’s retiring.

Her:  They’d rather see me, huh.

Me:  Probably.

Her:  If I went to the dinner and missed homecoming would you tell everybody?

Me:  Of course!

She’s actually thinking about it!  I may have to buy her that new cell phone if she actually goes with me!

Comments Off on Life with a 14 Year Old (18)

Just recently, I wanted to send some encouraging words to friends as they experienced a medical emergency and then struggled through the recovery process with their son.  As I thought about the trials they faced, I immediately thought of a poem that has brought me strength and encouragement through some of my deepest sorrow and toughest struggles…it’s called “Footprints” and the version I like the most is by Margaret Fishback Powers:

One night I dreamed a dream.

I was walking along the beach with my Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.

For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,

One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

When the last scene of my life shot before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

There was only one set of footprints.

I realized that this was at the lowest and saddest times of my life.

This always bothered me,

And I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

“Lord, You told me when I decided to follow you,

You would walk and talk with me all the way.

But I’m aware that during the most troublesome times of my life,

There is only one set of footprints.

I just don’t understand why,

When I need You most, You leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you,

And will never leave you, never, ever, during your trials and testings.

When you saw only one set of footprints,

It was then that I carried you.”

I was reminded of that same poem again today while looking through recent pictures, but this time for very different reasons.  When we were at the hospital less than two weeks ago for the birth of our granddaughter, one of the very first pictures we have of her entrance into this world were her footprints on the back of her father:

But the footprints immediately after her birth were followed by an even more meaningful and special photo just a few hours later in the neo-natal intensive care unit:

This is a picture of Audrey reaching out and holding on to her Dad, as she worked through the fluid in her lungs and strengthened herself for her new life in this incredibly complex world.  As I think now of those footprints and this early picture of an infant’s embrace of her father, I’m reminded even more of the power and meaning of this poem and the incredible comfort it brings to know that just like Audrey can now faithfully believe that her father will carry her when needed in life, we all have a heavenly father that we can count on to carry us in life as well.  As the poem says, “when you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

I have been awed by this new life and this new member of our family, and I am already grateful to Audrey for the smiles that she creates and the reminders that she brings.  In this particular case, the reminder that we all have a Father that loves and cares for us and that carries us when we need His strength is priceless!

Comments Off on Footprints

I made it to the house about 8:15 this morning and before I could even shower and shave my 14 year old was in the door welcoming me and setting the stage for her relentless barrage of “can you get me” and “will you take me”.  She’s actually not that direct…she’s pretty coy about it all.  Here’s one such conversation:

Her:  “Dad, my phone doesn’t charge so I need a new one.”

Me:  “When did we get it?”

Her:  “Right after Christmas.”

Me:  “It’s still under warranty.  Probably need a new battery.”

Her:  “Dad, I could get an I-Phone.”

Me:  “You don’t need an I-Phone.”

Her:  “Dad, do you know how many kids in my school have an I-Phone?”

Me:  “How many?”

Her:  “One.”

Now I have to be honest with you…that didn’t quite make her point…so she quickly realized her setback and said…”Dad, I really want a blackberry.”  So, two or three of her friends have blackberries and apparently everyone but my 14 year old has cool phones.

I almost caved with the relentless barrage of “Dad, I’ll pay for it myself” and “Dad, when did Melissa or Matt ever offer to pay for their phone” and “Dad, a blackberry has more memory so I can store more stuff in it like birthdays and special stuff in it.”  But I didn’t.  And I had to reach deep down inside and pull out the one thing that always saves me in just such a situation – “I’m not allowed to make a decision without talking to your mother.”  Whew.  She knew that was true.

As I sit here typing this she’s sitting right in front of me continuing her stream of consciousness – “Dad, think about it, I’m paying for it.”  Now I’m really struggling with this because there’s nothing more I want in the world than for my daughter to be cool…geez…what would life be like if she wasn’t cool.  “Dad, this is something I really want to pay for.”  Of course when she says “I want to pay for it” what she really means is she wants to take money out of her put aside cash savings for college to enhance her current coolness.

She’s wearing me down…I can’t think…”Dad, how much does a new battery cost?”…the stream of comments and questions is overwhelming me…she knows I’m about to give in…her Mom left the house and I have no one to keep me strong…”Dad, it’s my money and I should be able to buy it”…I’m hanging on by a thread…I feel myself slipping close to the “oh all right” point…give me strength…give me strength!

Comments Off on Life with a 14 Year Old (17)

I’m finishing a week in Alaska…quite a bit of excitement today with the announcement of the Governor here being the selection for the VP slot on the McCain ticket.  There’s quite a bit of anticipation with the excitement, with folks wondering what happens if the unthinkable actually becomes thinkable and she does actually become the VP…wouldn’t that be cool for Alaska…wouldn’t that be cool for the country…but then again, folks were saying the exact same thing after Obama nailed it during his prime time speech to 75,000 people at Mile HIgh Stadium in Denver.  It was a good week of anticipation and excitement on both sides of the political fence this week!

As all the democrats who converged on Denver this week for the convention now leave, I’m catching the redeye back into Denver and heading home to converge back on Colorado Springs with my family!  One of the great things about traveling is the reuniting when that traveling is complete.  And this weekend will be no different…ok, maybe just a little bit different…this time there’s a grandbaby in the mix! 

At this age, it’s awesome to watch the growth and to see the changes that come so fast with each passing week.  When you’re away for any period of time, those changes are so much more noticeable than when you see a baby every day.  I’m anxious to see how much my granddaughter has grown in the last week and I’m eager to replace the picture I have from last week:

As I thought about being a grandfather during the build up phase prior to Audrey’s birth, I was convinced that this wouldn’t affect me at all.  Instead, something very different has happened…it’s almost like I’m reliving some of those early experiences with our own babies mixed with some of that child like enthusiasm that comes from having someone new to want to be around.  It’s also a new set of smiles all the time now with the pictures being almost instantly available and the ability to almost be there through pictures in every special moment.

I’m definitely looking forward with great anticipation to being home in the morning…maybe just a little bit moreso because of the newest member of our family!

Comments Off on Anticipation

One of the dictionary.com definitions for nirvana is “any place of complete bliss and delight and peace”, and I think I’ve found the perfect picture of just such:

 

This is my 9 day old granddaughter, Audrey Sue, and she sure looks like she’s in a state of bliss and delight and peace! 

I’ve been fond of saying over the last decade or so in business that I’ve been seeking nirvana.  And every now and then I find those moments of peace or bliss where things just fall into place and that smile comes knowing that the decisions, the preparations, the actions, and the results all seem to align in some cosmic fashion creating nirvana. 

But those are rare…oh so rare…and oh so special…and oh so memorable.

I remember one such time when we finished a 3 year project in the required 14 months and did it for $11.7M instead of the proposed $45M saving our customer an enormous amount of money…and then we watched on closed circuit video as the booster left the launch pad on schedule because of all that great work…that was nirvana.

I remember another time when we worked so hard to get one specific contract and part of that contract was an advance payment of over $2M that was so desperately needed for working capital for the company…as I got that check and started the very nervous drive to the office with check in hand, that was nirvana when I pulled into the parking lot and realized that payroll would be met.

And I remember another time when our company had such a great solution that our executive team was willing to go without pay for many months as we poured money into engineering hoping that venture capital would follow in due time…then we got those first orders for that perfect solution…and right before some of us were going to have to take dramatic steps in our personal lives because of the debt incurred, just then that term sheet came, and hope was fulfilled and funding flowed…seeing that long past due payment hitting the checking account and writing the checks to pay down so many debts…that was nirvana.

And finally, when I held my daughter for the first time and realized that the dreams of a family for both me and my wife were fulfilled in her and then fulfilled again and again as we added to our family, and now to see the little one shown above and to see the joy in my daughter brought by the arrival of her very own new member of her family…that’s a very special nirvana.

My daughter is sending out pictures frequently throughout the day, and when I hear that special tone on the blackberry that indicates a new photo has arrived a smile erupts…nirvana is near as she shares with us the joy and the peace and the bliss and the delight of this new little life that has found ultimate contentment and is loved by so many…yep…nirvana is here!

Comments Off on Nirvana

In our organization, we have what we affectionately call “deep dives”, which are meetings with the entire executive team that drill deeply into core issues of the organization.  Over the last two days, we’ve focused on roles & responsibilities, corporate governance and organizational restructuring.  During this meeting, my oldest daughter continuously sent me pictures of my granddaughter, and I can’t possibly believe it was coincidence that her photos exactly matched my mood at the time of arrival!  Here’s the rundown:

(1) Corporate Governance – our most enlightening session and based on that enlightenment, a chance to truly change the fiduciarily accountable activities and the governing cost of the organization.

During this discussion, our team constantly wanted to be fed, trying to understand the issues of corporate governance and seeking allowable ways to accelerate growth and minimize the cost of governance in the organization.

(2) Roles & Responsibilities – for some hard to understand reason, this has been a real yawner for us over the last 6 months…as we’ve opened this dialogue in multiple sessions, we’ve made only modest headway towards any form of go forward strategy causing me to believe this is a real yawner for our executive team:

(3) Organizational Restructuring – This is a tough subject because several of our executive teams are actively engaged in this dialogue while others are seemingly sound asleep; with the critical importance of accelerated growth and maximized operational investment, we can’t have too many examples of this, but we certainly seemed to flirt with it today:

As the granddad, I can take liberty with these photos as I try and convey mid level operations and services.  Although I’m surprised by the wide variety of emotions I felt these last two days, I’m very comfortable that we’ve taken critical first steps towards some strategic restructuring…that’s exciting in itself!

And here’s where I’m off to now:

I’m heading off to dreamland to ponder the things we discussed and the things that we’ve glossed over but need to spend lots more time considering.   The pictures of my granddaughter brightened my day as I tried to stay awake and actively communicate through the dialogue…but alas it wasn’t meant to be…I’ve been yawning ever since and need to join my granddaughter in dreamland!

Thanks for letting me share what’s important to me in our corporate operations as well as what’s important to me in life…don’t often get to do this!

Comments Off on Deep Dives

I’m back to my travels now and took up my usual position in the Red Carpet Club a couple hours prior to takeoff.  During one of my breaks from work, I went into the men’s room which had recently been remodeled.  After doing my business, I went to the sink and noticed where the bulk of the remodeling occurred – at the wash basins:

As with just about everything in the world today (with the exception of the truck of a good friend of mine which still has handles to roll up and down the windows and has no automatic locks), the soap dispenser and the faucet are now both automatic.  I reached over and got some soap and then stuck my hands under the faucet to get some water.  As with most automatic faucets, you have to find the sweet spot of the senser to get the water to come out.  I moved my hands to the spot that the water dispensed, and as the water came out I also noticed that the soap came out too.  I pulled my hands away from the water to finish the wash and stuck them back under the faucet and sure enough the soap came out again causing me to repeat my wash and attempt to rinse again.  After trying a couple of times to rinse without soap coming out, I realized that if I slowly moved my hands one certain way and entered from the right just enough to trigger the water that I could get just a little bit of water without having soap come out. 

As I finished my wash, I noticed that only inches away from the wash basin was the paper towel dispenser (not automatic), now built into the counter top with the trash hole adjacent to it.  As you might guess, water was spilling into the paper towel holder since it was only inches from the sink and flush with the counter top.  I smiled at this too as I pulled out a few paper towels to get to a dry one to allow me to finish up and leave.

Now I must admit that I’m one that approves of automated devices of just about any nature and I definitely enjoy the placement of things in the proper location to achieve the maximum efficiency or the optimum result (I too get frustrated when I have to walk 15 or 20 feet for a paper towel or hand dryer with water dripping off my hands).  But I had to smile as I stepped back and looked at this particular arrangement – the ultimate in efficiency and yet one step closer to insanity!

PS. I apologize for how blurry the picture is – had to take it quickly so as not to disturb the other folks in this particular men’s room doing their business!

Comments Off on Things That Make You Go “Huh?”

The Olympics are now officially over, although many of us in the United States will see the final events and the closing ceremonies on NBC long after they have officially ended.  The debate as to how these Olympics compare to the drama and excitement of past Olympics is already starting.  The debate as to how particular athletes compare to athletes of past eras is starting as well.  All of that is to be expected due to the incredible performances and the want-to-stay-up-and-watch competition that seemed daily throughout all of the Games.

But as I think back over the past two weeks, several things stand out to me that reinforce the concept of “team” (not in any particularly relevant order):

— the men’s swim team pulling off that one spectacular victory over the French that put Michael Phelps one gold closer to his goal

— the men’s basketball team putting all of their gold medals over the shoulders of Coach K and Jerry Colangelo in recognition of the gold-medal-achieving job that both did in putting this team together and then preparing them for the tough international competition

— the men’s volleyball team beating the dominant favorite Brazil in the gold medal match, and their coach whose father-in-law had been murdered in China the day after opening ceremonies needing to leave the court as he was overcome with the emotions as his personal roller coaster went from as low as possibly imaginable to as high as anyone could dream in the matter of two short weeks

— the women’s beach volleyball team who apart are two of the best, if not the best, individual players in the game and yet credit all their success to their team, their coaches, their support structure, and their country

— the women’s soccer team that overcame the dramatically clear antithesis of team in the last world championships and came together in a crystal clear example of team at these Olympics to win the gold

— the different US teams going to the different venues to cheer on the other US teams in their competitions – I don’t remember seeing that much support between the teams before

— the collapse during the passing of the baton in both the men’s and women’s 4×100 meter races and then the sweep of the gold medals by both men and women in the 4×400 races

— the men’s gymnastics team overcoming the loss of their two top performers and only experienced Olympians and winning a medal regardless

— the women’s gymnastics team falling short in the team (if only a silver is falling short) and coming back so strong in the individual competitions

There were so many more must see moments in these Olympics that reinforce the true Olympic spirit, and only a couple that I can remember that reminded me of the not so compelling egos of some athletes as they flaunted their victories or the shocking reaction to defeat of some athletes as they took out their frustrations in totally unacceptable ways.

As I think back on these Olympics, I think enormous pride sums up my view of our athletes and their performances.  I personally can’t think of any prior Olympics where the drama of the events kept me so glued to the newswires and the TV.  And even when I knew the results in advance, I felt drawn to the prime time replays to watch the victories for myself.

It’s been a great couple of weeks in sports and an incredible week of new life for our family!  It doesn’t get much better than this!

Comments Off on Team (2)