Musings at Altitude

I’ve been very fortunate in my life to live many of my dreams – going to the Air Force Academy, working launch missions, working at the White House, starting my own company, working in Silicon Valley – just to name a few.  Each one of these brought incredible excitement, some very real anxiety, and ultimately some wonderful memories and great friendships. 

And every dream brought new dreams, because the fulfillment of one dream opened the doors to so many new dreams.  My office at home has specific areas that document many of those dreams.  I have one wall with my Alan Bean prints and my patches from shuttle mission I supported.  I have another wall with certificates from the White House and my White House Military Office badge framed.  I have yet another wall with my stock certificates from a Silicon Valley company that hopefully will one day bring great smiles but for now is just a memory of yet another dream fulfilled. 

In other parts of the house, on my credenza and on my bookshelves, I have pictures of Denise, the kids, and now the grandkids.  Those too were dreams fulfilled.  In another part of the house, I have engraved wine bottles from the company I co-founded.  In my office at work I have Air Force prints which give me fond of memories of my dream of being an Air Force Officer.  If I had more walls, I’d have an Air Force Academy wall with pictures of the chapel and my engraved diploma.  I’d also have a wall with my Pentagon memorabilia, but that was less of a dream and more of a required step to achieve another dream!

As I now think back on all these dreams fulfilled, I have many new dreams that are seeking their own wall in my life.  I dream of taking a company public.  I dream of leading a company to an equity event.  I dream of taking Denise to all 6 cities in Canada that have National Hockey League teams for a hockey game against the Colorado Avalanche!  I dream of running for and winning an elected office.  I dream of leading an international company.  I dream of writing a book.  And so much more!

As I get closer to that magic age of 50, I realize now that all those things I’ve done before have been necessary steps to prepare me to chase these next dreams.  I also realize that many of the key characters in my dreams thus far will be critical to any chance I have of catching those dreams that I have right now.  And I realize that living a dream often times takes lots of work and lots of patience…none of my dreams have come from luck.  The Air Force Academy was a 6 year quest.  Working at the White House was 8 years in the making.  Being part of the space launch mission required me to run the gauntlet of those saying “that’s a big mistake.” And starting my own company required me overcoming lots of doubt and fear.

I have a stronger sense of urgency with this next list of dreams.  Time is of the essence and if I am going to build that wall of fulfillment for each one, it needs to start now.  In fact, it is starting now!

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One of my resolutions every year is to make every single interaction something very meaningful.  Create a smile.  Recognize sadness.  Get caught up in someone else’s joy.  Help someone else achieve success.  Share an answered prayer. 

But I’m also on a quest to sharpen my senses so I not only recognize the nuances of the moods of those I meet but also sense my environment and experience those things that I typically am too numb to see, smell, hear, or feel.  Smell the coffee.  See the grass change colors.  See the deer in that clump of trees.  See the last ray of light from the sun setting behind the mountains.  Feel the warmth of the coming spring.  Hear the coal train at its furthest point as it heads into town.

I can’t help but think that I’ll be a better leader, follower, father, husband, son, brother, friend and neighbor if I begin to see, hear and feel what’s going on around me in a very focused and intimate way. 

PS.  There is one particular thing I want to exclude from my sensory awareness progress - that new creak or crack in the morning when I get out of bed or that new pain that shows up a few hours after I do anything physical now – I’d rather just ignore them!

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My wife watched Armageddon for what must be the 100th time tonight, and as always, she teared up when Bruce Willis gave his farewell speech from space to his daughter and then again when the shuttle landed and the little boy runs out to hug his father.  She’s like that.  Even when she knows what’s going to happen and has seen that same scene time and time again, the tears begin to fall.

In business and in life, there are times where we know beyond a shadow of a doubt what will or will not happen, and even though those with great experience have seen that same scene time and time again, they still react with the same emotion when they see it play out the very same way again. 

Sometimes the reactions are smiles and great joy.  That happens when teams have worked hard to be prepared for the scenarios that they face and because of that preparation, positive things happen.  But at other times, the reactions are tears and great pain.  That happens when teams crack under pressure because they didn’t take the preparation phase seriously or they lack alignment at a critical moment when complete harmony on the team is required for operations success.

Amazingly, those with great experience track the preparation (or lack thereof) and sense and see the outcome long before it happens.  When they sense some very bad things on the horizon, those highly experienced folks sometimes take on the insanity or the lack of focus and through their sheer will and commitment to creating success, force the team towards a much more acceptable solution.  But many other times, those folks that see so clearly the unfortunate path that an organization is on will let it play out even though they know the catastrophic consequence of the path that is being taken.

Having been there, I can tell you first hand that even those that see so clearly what is playing out will sometimes continue to watch with the insane hope that the outcome is different than what they see so clearly.  This happens most frequently when new voices and new opinions join an organization and drive the path and the plan in a direction that is counter to what would historically work.  Folks with legacy experience then watch with uncertainty, wondering if these new people have some magical clue for ensuring success in the company.  But over time, those people with insights nurtured from years of experience in an organization watch things play out in the way they originally expected and then wonder why they didn’t act to push harder and seek change long before the eventual outcome occurs.

As I looked at my wife this evening and saw the tears once again from those two scenes in Armageddon, I realized that she will never stop crying and never stop watching.  But those of us in business who anxiously watch things play out the same way time and time again have the choice to either quit watching or change the scene.  Both options could dramatically affect the outcome.  Though my wife will never change the outcome in this particular movie, this movie of life which we now are watching live can be changed dramatically if those who sense and see a very negative outcome will act rather than watch and seek change rather than expect the tears.

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The Bible says “who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life” and “be anxious in nothing”.  Pretty clear guidance there.  Even so, I worry all the time about things I really shouldn’t be worried about.  So this morning I began thinking about some of the things throughout my life that caused me the greatest worry.  It’s true, worrying didn’t change the situation at all.  Even so, I worried big time!

Here’s a short list of some of those worries:

(1) In first grade when I had a pencil stuck in my forehead after a fight and waited in the office for my Mom to get to school

(2) In fourth grade when I had slipped a note to a girl next to me with “do you love me?” on it and waited for her to circle “yes” or “no”

(3) In sixth grade when I cut up a ceramic ash tray into little bitty pieces in front of my teacher and got hauled to the office and then had to wait for my Mom to show up again

(4) In tenth grade when I waited for the cut list for the baseball team

(5) In eleventh grade when I waited for a “yes” or “no” from a beautiful young lady at church wondering if she’d go out with me

(6) In twelth grade when I waited anxiously for word back from the Air Force Academy and then got rejected for medical reasons

(7) Later that same year when I waited even more anxiously for a ruling on my appeal

(8) In my sophomore year at the Academy when I waited anxiously to meet with the Dean of the Faculty to determine whether or not I would be allowed to stay in the Electrical Engineering program

(9) In my junior year when I asked a very special and beautiful young lady to marry me and waited for her answer

(10) In my senior year when I waited for notification that I received the career choice and base of assignment that I asked for

(11) Shortly after I graduated and went to that base of choice as I waited anxiously again for an answer from that same special and beautiful young lady about whether or not she’d marry me

(12) In 1984 when we waited anxiously for results of the pregnancy test

(13) In 1987 when we waited anxiously for results of the pregnancy test

(14) In 1988 when I waited anxiously to see if I did indeed get selected for that special assignment in the Air Force

(15) In 1992 when I got the call that our daughter was struggling for life in the womb

(16) In 1992 when I got the call that our daughter in second grade was missing from elementary school

(17) In 1993 when we waited anxiously for the results of the pregnancy test

(18) In 1994 when I waited nervously for confirmation of being selected for a special duty assignment in the Air Force

(19) In 1997 when I worried nonstop about my choice to leave the active duty Air Force

(20) In 1998 when I quit my job and was jobless for the first time

(21) In 1999 when I started my own company and second guessed every decision I then made

(22) In 2001 when I left my own company, headed to Silicon Valley, watched in horror the events of 9/11 and then went without pay for seven months

(23) In 2003 when I went through an 8.5 hour interview and waited nervously for that call that would tell me whether or not I got the job or not

(24) In 2005 when I chose to leave a leadership job and move to a staff position, knowing how much I hated staff jobs

(25) In 2008 when I desperately wanted to go back to a company leadership position and it took 9 months to have that desire fulfilled

I skipped over so many things that made me nervous – waiting for the results of promotion boards; waiting to know if I owe or are owed during tax season; waiting for a “yes” or “no” on a home mortgage loan; waiting for yearend numbers to know if I get a bonus or not; waiting for that actual signature on a contract that follows up a verbal announcement.

As I look back on all of these and so many more, I can honestly say my worrying and my anxiety did nothing to affect the outcome.  “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”  But I must admit, I certainly thought some very bizarre things during those times of great worry and great anxiety.  I may have even learned a thing or two about myself!

In the end though, I need to listen and learn – “be anxious in nothing”!

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It’s not even 7:00 am and this has been a fascinating Wednesday!  I’ve been up since 2:30 this morning.  It started out with some form of acid reflux causing me to cough, and I shook the bed for about an hour keeping my wife from sleeping.  Around 3:30, I finally gave up and went to my office and for two straight hours I read blogs, listened to talks from some very talented people, and watched videos once again of Paul Potts and Connie Talbot, both 2007 contestants of the Britain’s Got Talent contest and unbelievable stories and voices.

When the sun finally came up this morning, the clouds were a grayish color reminiscent of dusk not dawn.  As I took the dog out for her morning sniff around the yard, I noticed the grass turning green in the areas she frequents the most, which shouldn’t be happening in February.  I noticed some of the bushes in yards up and down the street starting to get their color.  I noticed a warmth in the air more like June or September than February, and the gentle breeze brought smells of Spring even though we’re still in the middle of winter.

When I drove my daughter to the bus stop, “middle girl” (as I call her) walked up in jeans and a tank top.  Since today is “winter day” at school and all the high schoolers are supposed to be wearing winter clothes, I had to laugh at the irony.  Even more fascinating, when “left girl” and “middle girl” took their places waiting for the bus, they actually turned and talked to each other!  That hasn’t happened this entire school year!

We’re not even 1/3 of the way through this 24 hour day, and everything I sense and see just fascinates me.  The darkness and dreariness that often times accompany winter seems to already be fading…and fading fast.  Spirits seem uplifted on those jogging, walking dogs and standing at bus stops, and I can’t help but think that we’re at the beginning of a new era of hope and a time of increased optimism.

I want that optimism.  I want that smile from those passing by.  I want that cheery hello and warm hand shake from those I know and even those I don’t.

I want the doldrums to end, and the excitement of life to return.

I want every day to be fascinating!

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(1) 60 degree temperatures in winter

(2) answered prayers

(3) unexpected contract opportunities

(4) Fellowship Friday

(5) a call from a friend I’ve known for 30 years

(6) a family conference call

(7) a web cam session with the daughter and granddaughter

(8) seeing my 14 year old go to school in jammies

(9) weekend dinners with friends

(10) listening to the testimonies of others

(11) seeing new life in 3D

(12) feeling the excitement of a new job offer

(13) watching the light bulbs come on, for me and my team

(14) sending a thank you note

(15) getting a thank you

(16) a call from the boss

(17) a note from a friend

(18) a referral that resulted in something special

(19) an email with thanks from a customer

(20) a hug from new friends

(21) a hug from old friends

(22) a call from a “slimy sales guy”

(23) a call from a sincere partner

(24) exerts from a good book

(25) a quiet night of hockey with the family (ok – hockey night is never really quiet)

(26) a reminder of the truth of a favorite Bible verse

And so many more.  Amidst all the challenges, all the chaos, all the anxiety, and all the uncertainty, reasons to smile are everywhere.

Nehemiah 8:10 says, “Go and enjoy choice foods and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared.  This day is sacred to our Lord.  Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

I feel strong this morning!

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I read a quote a while back, “Culture is what happens when people aren’t watching”.  I can’t remember who to attribute it to, but it was a wonderful description of something all of us know – culture is not just what you see, but all that stuff that goes on behind the scenes as well.

I’d like to modify that quote for teamwork – “teamwork is what happens long before and long after the mission”.  We learned that last week in our leadership development training by watching the Blue Angels and seeing how they pre-briefed and de-briefed longer than they actually flew their shows.  And I see that so clearly every time the Thunderbirds perform over the Air Force Academy and stay in formation long after the crowds can no longer see them.

 In the formation flying of the Blue Angels or Thunderbirds, teamwork is a matter of life or death.  In business, it’s no different – teamwork is still a matter of business life or death.

For these precision flying teams, the preflight briefing and the post mission debrief are all longer than the mission itself.  The candid questions and the critical review push egos out of the room and pull trust into the team.  I see no reason why business shouldn’t be the very same way.  In the preparation before a mission we find focus and precision.  In the debriefing after the mission, we find efficiencies and course corrections.

And it’s all framed in and founded on trust.

 

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We received two wonderful pictures this week.

One was a picture of our soon to arrive grandson who was letting us know quite bluntly and beautifully what he thought of the pushing and shaking to get his face visible for the 3-D ultrasound:

And the other was a picture of our 6 month old granddaughter who also let us know bluntly and beautifully how excited she is to now be living in Beaumont, Texas:

As we get older, it’s a wonderful blessing to watch our children have their own children, and then watch them as they experience the joy (and sometimes trauma) of parenting.  There’s something very special about the phone calls or the emails or the web cam sessions or the visits where knowledge is transferred from those who have been through the pregnancies and early development years to those who are experiencing those things for the very first time.  There’s also something very special about the watching and smiling and learning that occurs for those who have been there before that are now being reminded of those things that happen during pregnancies or early development years and must now learn how to engage and interact as grandparents rather than parents!

As I think about our expanding family, I can’t help but think of that wonderful song from the movie “Lion King”, Circle of Life.  I also can’t help but think how obvious it is now that our job doesn’t end when our children leave the home.  Instead, we are in a way revived in a new role with new responsibilities and with new meaning.

That in itself is part of the magnificent circle of life.

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I spent three days this past week focused on leadership development, both for me personally and for the team of executives that I’m blessed to partner with in business today.  As a leadership team, we have about 20 decades of experience, and each one of us felt like we learned something important from the coaching and the leadership discussions that we participated in.

After meetings like these, I typically spend lots of time pondering what was said and what was learned.  I have epiphanies of varying magnitude during the meetings, but it’s the quiet times spent deeply thinking when I tie things together and come up with those meaningful ways that I can act on the lessons learned.

As I think back over my many years in business, I remember clearly those people who provided me much needed lessons – some good, some not so good.  But I also remember that those lessons didn’t immediately and dramatically affect my behavior, but instead, they resulted in baby steps of improvement that made me who I am today.  I remember the Master Sergeant in Los Angeles who very pointedly stated, “If you ask for feedback, don’t yell at me when I give it to you and you don’t like it.”  I also remember the Executive Vice President of a company I worked in that told me, “Next time you say “maybe I need to work elsewhere”, we’re going to make that happen.”  And I remember the long time friend and then CEO who told me, “You will never understand the negative impact you’ve had on this company.”  And finally, I remember the Brigadier General in the Air Force that spent an entire day receiving briefings from me, and then he said, “You’re going to do great, but it’s not going to be in the Air Force.”  Each one of these individuals had an enduring affect on my life.  Each one of these individuals caused me to go off and ponder and think through my actions preceding their comments, and that time of pondering then drove my growth and my actions for years to come.

So today, I’m thinking back on this past week and pondering the lessons learned and the baby steps I can now take to be a better leader.  I need to do a better job of following through on commitments I make, and I need to more accessible to everyone on my team.  I need to focus on priorities, and if for any reason those priorities change, I need to quickly communicate the changes so those on my team know where they too need to be focused.  And I need to work harder on creating a shared vision, and through that vision, rally all of us together in reaching out to embrace that vision.

And just like my granddaughter, who six months ago entered this world with these footprints, I need to now look forward to months and years of growing based on the lessons I’m learning at a very rapid pace today.

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Hey Guys! It’s the 14 year old again! My dad has been bugging me to do a guest blog again so here I am!

This blog I am going to talk about all things random, which BTW, I can go on and on about!  LOL!

Avs:

First, I have to talk about my favorite thing in the world, the Colorado Avalanche. The Avs have 24 games left in the season and they are 7 points out from being in the playoffs. I haven’t lost faith in them yet. I am hoping with our best scoring guy coming back the next game and our captain coming back mid-March that the Avs are able to pull it off! The Avs aren’t having their best season, as a matter of fact, this is the worst the Avs have done since becoming a team, sitting in 14th (out of 15) in the conference.  But it’s one season and no matter how bad the Avs do, I can’t become one of those fans who only like the team when they are winning. I am always telling my dad that true fans don’t leave early from games and stuff like that, but being a true fan also means always being there for the team no matter what.

 Drama:

While me and my dad went out to Texas Roadhouse tonight, we talked about many things. One of those things was drama. Being in high school, you see a lot of drama, fighting with friends, breaking up with girlfriends/boyfriends, it’s really no fun at all. I am in a fight with my BFF right now because she is convinced that my other friend is trying to steal me away from her. It’s really frustrating to see her not talk to my other friend even though they used to be friends too. That’s the only thing I don’t like about school right now, drama. It’s not fun and never will be.

Crush:

So of course while me and my dad were at dinner, he asked me who I liked, even though I have told him before.  My dad goes straight to asking the random questions that dads have to ask. “How many classes do you have him in?” “What’s his last name?” Etc. (Trust me, it gets annoying!) While we were talking about who my crush was, I thought about the song I have had stuck in my head the last day. It’s called Crush and it’s a really good song. It’s about having a crush that just won’t go away even though you have tried to walk away from it. The song is so true for high school students.

Family:

On the way to Texas Roadhouse tonight, my dad was talking about when he was 21. He was saying that he never talked to his parents that much and he was just very anti-social. He said that it took him 15 years for him to realize how important family really is. I was thinking about this and he is so true. Family is just so important to have in your life. They are always there for you and they help so much. When you feel weak, they make you feel strong again. Family is just so important in life.

Ok, thanks for reading my random things! Bye Everyone!

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