Musings at Altitude

Our grandson rushed his way into this world yesterday, a month earlier than expected!  He weighed in at 4 pounds, 12 ounces, and 19 and 1/4 inches long.

 

I’m not sure I’ve seen such a big smile on my son’s face in a long time!

And I’m sure that’s just the first of many, many smiles to come!

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While at 37,000 feet today, I was deep into the music on my iPod.  And just before descent, “Time in a Bottle” by Jim Croce began to play.

I immediately thought back to 32 years ago this month when I shyly asked a beautiful young lady out on a date.  She was 14 and I was 16.  She wasn’t allowed to go solo with me, so we had to count on her sister and now brother-in-law to be that second couple to act as chaperones.  Thankfully, that 14 year old said yes, and equally as thankfully, her sister said yes.

That beautiful girl from back then is still that beautiful girl now, 32 years later!

But a few months after that first date, for some very bizarre reason, I wanted to try out for a sing and dance ensemble at school.  I was a senior, and based on my lack of rhythm and incredibly shy personality, it was a long shot that I would be selected.  As part of the audition, I needed to perform a solo up on stage in the high school auditorium.  It took no time to pick the song that I would sing – Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce.  As I practiced that song, I would close my eyes and think of her.  The words fit so perfectly.  And on the day of the audition, I sang my heart out.  And sure enough, because of that song and that girl, I was selected to be part of that group.

It wasn’t easy for us from that point forward.  For the next 5 and 1/2 years, we were on again and off again, twice because of me and then twice because of her.  But at the end of those wanderings, we committed to a lifetime together that grows with excitement even today.  Through the smiles and the tears, we’ve clung to each other.  And just like Jim Croce, I can honestly say, “if I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I’d like to do, is to save every day till eternity passes away just to spend them with you.”

So now, 32 years later, I’m thankful to both Jim Croce and that 14 year old.  Both gave me memories that even today make me smile!

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I sat on my front porch this morning for my Bible reading and prayer.  It was relatively warm, and I needed only a light golf shirt to feel comfortable.  But all around me were clouds, ominous signs of the winter storm that that is yet to come. 

Thankfully, not now.  For now, it’s comfortable.  And there are sounds of life all around.

In front of me to the left, I hear a fire engine racing out of the station.

In front of me to the right, I hear numerous different kinds of birds chirping in the early morning light.

Behind me, I hear the growing rush of cars heading down I-25 towards Colorado Springs.

Just beyond that, I hear the incredibly loud whistle (is it really a whistle?) of a southbound coal train heading most likely for some place in Texas.

In front of me, I also hear the rush of running water, hidden somewhere under the street.

And I also notice what’s missing.  There is no gentle breeze or mighty wind this morning.  It’s eerily calm.  And with the clouds hovering so close all around, the sounds of so many things that are so far away are amplified and carried a long distance for me to notice them so clearly.

The fact that I’m noticing such things is a great blessing.  I woke up this morning and the headache was gone.  My senses are returning, and I’m seeing, hearing, smelling, and feeling things again that were deeply masked by the tension and pain over the last couple of days.

This is good!  I can look again at the sun trying to break through the clouds to the east without wincing.  I can pump up the volume on the radio in the car and belt out the words to those special songs without cringing.  And I can look forward to this new day that I have been blessed with, knowing that I’ll recognize those little things again that always make me smile!

Yes, this is good!

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I’ve had a pretty intense headache for almost two full days now.  And that seems to happen every time I have intense discussions before a meeting, severe anxiety about that meeting, and then extreme focus during the meeting.  I had one of those meetings today. 

For the last month, I’ve been storming (no different than planning), politicking (no different than coordinating & collaborating) and scheming (no different than strategizing) in preparation for a board meeting where I knew from the beginning that the difference in opinion and the diversity in culture would create a tense environment from the start and a real potential of a verbal war between board members before we even got to the real meat of the discussions.  And yet, we had to come to closure on issues that have been tormenting us for years and have been preventing us from becoming the kind of organization that we have to be in the midst of growing antagonists and adversaries.

So the more I prepared (no different than worrying), the worse the headache became.  And the worse the headache became, the more I worried (very different than preparation).

So today was the day.  I drove to work making those pre-battle phone calls for support and motivation.  I got to work and quickly went through the cycle of storming, politicking, and scheming.  I then sought out distractions to get my mind off the pending battle, and in those distractions found some near term relief from the sense of pending doom.

The meeting lasted all of 4 hours, and none of the worst case scenario possibilities ever came up.  In fact, there was almost complete agreement on the issues and the corrective actions and the board members left shaking hands, scheduling follow on meetings and evidently feeling incredibly good about the discussion and the path forward.

Go figure.  My worries were groundless.  My belief that this meeting would be tense from the start and filled with outrage and resentment proved completely without merit.  Instead, the power of purpose and the desperate desire of business executives to build a meaningful and successful organization far outweighed their emotions and personal opinions.

I stand amazed.  I stand inspired.  I stand in awe of those potentially very explosive people who put egos aside and sought unity in purpose and consensus on an appropriate path forward.

But I still have a massive headache.

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Denise and I sat out on the back deck last night watching the last signs of light slowly sink behind the mountains.  It was a beautiful view, and the exact therapy I needed to replace the tension of the day with the peace of the evening.

I’m finding I need those peaceful moments much more often now.  The cycles are intensifying – tough discussions, tense meetings, calming reflections, moments of peace.  And then the cycle starts all over again.  But the intensity of the cycles is dampened significantly when I step into those meetings with prayer and come out of those meetings seeking peace. 

I’m blessed with a home that provides sanctuary for me.  I find peace here.

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Weekends allow reflection, revival, and rejuvenation.  And with this weekend being Easter, it provided an even more special form of spiritual renewal. 

And I can’t help but contrast the scene from yesterday morning:

with the scene from this morning:

Renewal indeed!  Revival indeed!  Rejuvenation indeed!

And when I sit and stare at the majestic beauty of this magnificent creation, I can’t help but thank our Creator for providing these special views and these special times for that renewal.

Psalm 51:10 – “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

What beautiful words to record and reflect such a beautiful awakening this morning!

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We woke up this morning to a heavy, very wet, spring snow.  The trees and bushes are struggling to hold up under the burden of such a heavy dusting.

And looking down the street, the snow is falling almost like rain, and the tire tracks are rivers of water already flowing to the drains at the bottom of our hill.

But in the hearts and lives of millions of Christians across the world, burdens are lifted and the sun is shining bright as we celebrate Easter!

At some point today, this snow will all be gone, and even if just for a moment, the sun will come out and the sun’s light will embrace this area with its warmth.  It seems to happen that way every year.

And that’s what happened on that Easter morning some 2,000 years ago.  As His followers struggled with the burden of His death, they woke up that Easter morning to the dreary realization of the loss of their Messiah.

But when they approached the tomb where He had been buried, they were met by God’s messenger who said, “Don’t be alarmed.  You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified.  He has risen!  He is not here.” [Mark 16:6 – NIV]

That darkness that they were emotionally engulfed in quickly turned to light, and the Son who had been mercilessly crucified, showed Himself to them in all of His glory.  He had overcome death…just as He had told them He would!   The Son embraced them with His light!

For some, this was just great theater and great drama.  For me, it was the ultimate example of love and obedience.  And that Son who died on that cross is still shining today, warming the hearts of all those who believe.

So I’m anxiously waiting for that moment today when the clouds will break and the sun will shine.  And when that moment comes, I’ll smile in remembering once again His sacrifice and His love on that cross!

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We did it!  We celebrated my 14 year old’s 15th birthday tonight, one full month earlier than her real birthday!

The 14 year old put the word out “NO PRESENTS”, but she got them anyway, and now her friends are here at the house for a “birthday sleepover”. 

Her Mom ordered pizza for them for the birthday party, and then we’re both taking them all to a hockey game tomorrow…the real reason why the birthday is being celebrated this early…so the 14 year old can share the excitement of an NHL game with two of her BFF’s.

It’s a very good thing that my 14 year old had the foresight two months ago to schedule her birthday one full month early, because her hockey team is in last place and will end their season this weekend without even coming close to making the playoffs.  Maybe she sensed something back then.  Or maybe she just wanted to have an early birthday party!

Regardless of her reasons, I guess I should be happy that her favorite sport isn’t football.  Then we’d have to celebrate her May 11th birthday before Christmas just so she could party with her BFF’s watching her favorite team play her favorite sport!

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While I’m locked up in a day long review session for a major proposal, my 14 year old will be at a crescendo of excitement because today launches her month long celebration of her upcoming 15th birthday.  That’s true – her birthday isn’t till May 11th, and yet, she’s having her sleepover tonight and taking her best friends to an Avs game tomorrow – for her birthday!

She’s been waiting two months for this weekend, and the dull roar of the “I can’t wait till April 11th” has been replaced by the ear drum breaking volume of “It’s Friday”! 

At the bus stop this morning, she talked about how slow this day is going to be – because she has math.  And then she quickly popped, “But it ends with science, and then I have my sleepover and then I go to an Avs game and then I go to another Avs game.  It’s going to be AWESOME”!

I’m excited too, but for a very different reason!  On Monday, things go back to normal after two full months of abnormality in anticipation of this weekend!

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I woke up this morning thinking about the huge anxieties that exist in the lives of my family, friends and co-workers today:

• loss of income (from both plunging retirement accounts and uncertainty in jobs)
• change of jobs (because of restructuring or downsizing)
• family expansion on the horizon
• relocations
• intense competition on “must win” programs
• pending retirements
• unexpected bills
• recurring illnesses
• rapidly changing priorities

And as I look at this list, I can sense the fear for some and the great uncertainty in others.  And in many of these areas, I can share intimate stories about my own concerns and how some of these may be affecting me very personally.

But as I look at myself and watch others, I see a very thin line between trepidation and sheer excitement. 

For some, the uncertain future in a job brings great stress and huge fears about their future.  For others, a forced transition is a welcome release from one journey and the opportunity to jump on another. 

For some, the tension of a “must win” competition brings sleepless nights and worries beyond belief.  For others, that same event brings eruptions of confidence (not arrogance) and a team spirit that radiates with a “we’re the best team for this job” mentality.

For some, the changing priorities and the reductions in family spending create great discomfort and drive separation between those affected by any of the changes.  For others, the changes bring bonds of love and trust beyond belief and create everlasting memories of the sacrifices made during those tense times of economic distress.

Ultimately, we have a choice of how we will view any of the challenges we face today.  Will we let fear drive our attitudes and our response?  Or will we use excitement fueled by faith and confidence to overcome barriers, conquer the fear driven demons, and reach new heights in our own lives even in times of great adversity?

We all succumb to fear at times.  But lurking just beyond that fear is that burst of excitement that could launch us forward and bring those smiles that we all so desperately need.

Let’s seek out and latch on to that excitement together!

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