Musings at Altitude

My son’s car was out in the driveway today, causing all the pigeons to think we were inside the house.  I drove up and found one sneaky bird just waiting to drop a bomb on us when we left:

When I took the dad gum dog out last night for its evening sniff around the yard, 2 pigeons were nestled comfortably in a crook in one of the rain drains coming right down by our front porch steps.  They didn’t budge as I walked towards them, though they did glare at me for interrupting whatever quaint little interlude they were enjoying. 

When I left the house this morning, at least 8 pigeons were scoffing at me from our roof.  When I loudly smacked my hands to scare them off, they flew in an 8-bird formation right over the top of my head.  I ducked.  I knew what they were capable of.  But they held their bombs obviously knowing that they would need full arsenals when the war resumed.

I get the sense that our roof with all the little cozy crannies in it is the equivalent of a pay-by-the-hour hotel for these way-too-comfortable pigeons.

This pigeon over the door is obviously taking this war to a very different and very devious level.  I fully suspect that this particular act is a direct response to my wife’s relentless effort to shoot the little buggers with her water gun, and I would not be surprised that this is one of the birds that took the force of the water broadside just the other night.  But when putting both of these in the proper scale, the water gun is a non-lethal weapon.  Bird droppings are lethal.  They’ve raised the weapons race to a very lethal level.

It’s time for me to invest in a new, very powerful, maybe very lethal weapon in this war!

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I rushed home after work yesterday to mow the yard.  It’s been two weeks and lots of rain later, and the grass was a magnificent wonderland for all those things living and growing in our yard, but it was a nightmare for our Dad Gum Dog.  DGD is somewhere around 18 years old, but we really don’t know.  She’s a mix of many different breeds and probably had many different fathers, but we really don’t know.  She gets all her exercise from walking down the driveway, across the sidewalk, all the way to the opposite end of the yard from where she starts and then sniffs her way back, stopping every now and then to do some business.  The grass had gotten so high from the unusual amounts of rain, so she had to sniff through new and bigger layers of grass blades, thus preventing her from finding that perfect smell representing that perfect spot and thus doing her not-so-perfect business in our front yard.

So I mowed yesterday.  I got the grass back down to a point where she could see and sniff over it, and lo and behold, she found her spots perfectly and like a finely tuned Olympic athlete, she went out, cruised down the driveway, sniffed her way to the end of the yard, climbed in and did her business, and sniffed her way all the back.

So that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.  I mowed for the Dad Gum Dog.

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In my 27 years of post college work, I’ve had my share of awkward and uncomfortable situations to resolve and weight-of-the-world issues to carry:

• I’ve been asked to defend insanity in a work environment when there really was no defense. 
• I’ve been asked by unethical leaders to accept as “ok” the unethical things that they were doing, and then forced to live with the consequences because of the decisions I made. 
• I’ve been “asked” to go “off payroll” for many months at a time while my company desperately sought funding, and I’ve been forced to consider the possible consequences of enormous personal and professional debt.
• I’ve been asked to accept highly unacceptable working environments to protect egos or retain “experts” that otherwise would leave an organization.
• I’ve been required to work enormously long hours as a sole hope to meet payroll while also trying to sell the services of those still on the payroll but not necessarily capable of selling their services on their own.
• I’ve been asked to “get that invoice paid” when we had not yet delivered what was expected and certainly didn’t deserve payment.
• I’ve been asked to justify actions of unjustifiable people, and I’ve been used to defend and to validate the actions of those that don’t deserve defense and validation.
• And I’ve been accused of things that I had nothing to do with, and I’ve been blamed for the actions of others to deflect the heat off those who had made poor decisions and thus cost the company immeasurably.

As I sat at home last night thinking about those times when I felt crushed by the burdens that weighed so heavily on me, I smiled in knowing that someone always reached down and picked me up and helped me rise above the weight of the issues at hand or the impact of the malicious attacks.  Those special people always saw beyond the very suffocating burdens and, through their actions, they lightened the load, forced some smiles, focused me on the reality and not the insanity, and helped carry me through.

Although I remember many of those who created the burdens or initiated the attacks, I remember even more those that through their words and actions helped me through tough situations and tough decisions.  The sharp memories of the oppressive issues have softened and faded over time.  But the intimate details of those who provided such incredible support in times when I needed that the most remain so visible to me as I play back the memory clips and smile in thinking about each situation.

As I sit here this morning welcoming the challenges of this new day, I’m so thankful for those who stepped into my life during those very tough times and helped me rise above.  You are remembered big time.  And you are appreciated more than you will ever know.

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I woke up this morning thinking about adventure.  It must have something to do with the deep pondering on the “bucket list” lately.

But my thoughts veered off into a very different direction today.

I thought about the bugs and their grand adventure in this grassy jungle:

I thought about the birds and their fearless adventures in this open sky:

And I thought about the fox that just ran across the street and his grand adventures in this overgrown (we’ve had lots of rain lately) creek bed:

And then I thought about our grand adventures – my wife driving down to Texas today; my son moving into his condo on Saturday; me flying to Alaska on Sunday. 

In many ways, we’re no different than those bugs, those birds, and that fox.  We start each day on a quest for fulfillment of some sort. 

And from the time we get out of bed till the time we climb back in, it’s one big adventure.

Today I give thanks with a very grateful heart to our magnificent Creator that provided this land of adventure for all of  us.

And now I’m off on my own grand adventure!

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A good friend read my posting yesterday on ambitions, saw the bullet “build nirvana in a business culture”, and then sent me a short note with the following challenge – “I’m waiting for you to do this!” 

As most very short and very pointed emails do, that got me thinking.  What does it take to “build nirvana in a business culture”?  It’s not enough to just pop it out.  If I’m going to have it on my list of “to do’s”, then I better have some vision for what nirvana in a business culture is, and then even more important, some more than just basic understanding of what to do to drive a culture to that nirvanic level.  Otherwise, I’m not the one building anything.  I’m just the one waiting for someone else to build something and then take advantage of what they have built.

That got me thinking even more.  I’ve been in many organizations where strong (and sometimes insane) personalities drove or built the outward facing culture of an organization.  But with each dominant personality driving any specific outward facing culture, there was a behind the scenes culture driver that kept the engine of the organization running.  That individual typically wasn’t in the senior leadership role.  Instead, that individual was an influencer at a middle management level who watched the actions of the dominant one, interpreted what was really needed for success within the organization, and influenced the culture towards that required state of sanity and support behind the facade of the flamboyant leader.

If culture truly is “the things that happen when no one is looking”, then leaders set the stage; leaders set the tone; leaders (by their actions or inactions) define how hard it will be to create nirvana in a business culture; leaders (in their team member selections) paint the facade of an organization and define what will be seen up and out (but not necessarily in).  BUT, from my experience, leaders (of any organization bigger than a handful of people) don’t build the culture of an organization.  They certainly make it easy or hard to create any meaningful culture.  They certainly act as enablers or disablers to culture.  But they don’t build it themselves.  Others build the culture.  Others define and drive the desired culture.  Others, through their actions or inactions, define what happens when no one is looking.

So in any organization of any significant size, different cultures will exist at different levels.  I’ve seen one culture in a headquarters building, and then a very different culture at the mission serving level.  I’ve also seen one culture in the project overseeing level and then a very different culture at the component team level within that particular project.  In each of these cases, the tone was set by each overseeing layer, but the culture was defined and built at that layer of individuals who banded together to create that optimum environment for them to succeed in their own service environment.

The more I ponder on this, the more I realize that “build nirvana in a business culture” is going to require something much more than popping it out there and wanting it to happen.

For the one that challenged me with that short, blunt email, gee thanks!

Now I got some thinking to do!

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Denise and I started listing out the things we want to do…more me than her…she’s pretty much in the now…I’m the dreamer.

It’s not as easy as it sounds.

In fact, it’s not easy at all.

At our age, you first think about “what do I need to do now”…because we’re not getting any younger…and we want to do some things while we still can enjoy them.

So we have things we want to do together – lots of travel.

I have things I want to do in business.

We have things we want to do in life.

The travel was the easiest for both of us – things we want to do together:

• Visit Paris
• Visit London
• Visit Ireland
• Visit Australia
• Visit Vancouver
• Visit Edmonton
• Visit Calgary
• Visit Montreal
• Visit Toronto
• Visit Ottawa

All the Canadian cities are to see hockey games!

I’ve been to Australia, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Rome, Jerusalem, Japan, Ottawa and many more without Denise.  We’ve been to Ireland once together.  Now it’s time to travel together for pleasure instead of for business.  Although we may be able to do some of it for both business and pleasure…that’s what Ireland was.

On the business side, it gets more personal to me:

• Sell a company
• Take a company public
• Create hundreds to thousands of jobs
• Build nirvana in a business culture
• Be the community leader in charitable support
• Be a business incubator

And then on the very, very personal side, it gets core to my beliefs:

• Get active in local charities
• Start a Foundation
• Run for political office
• Make a difference at Local, State and National levels

In reality, I guess the quest started 30 or 40 years ago.

I’m anxious to see what happens in the coming days, months and years to put checks next to many of these on the list.

I’m also eager to travel, eager to build new businesses, and very eager to give.

I wish I could zip forward 20 years and see what happened.

In a sense, I guess I can.

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I’ve had many very different jobs since I left the active Air Force in 1997…10 to be exact…in just 12 years…some with the same company or portfolio owner…but each job very different than the previous job.  And I don’t see it ending anytime soon, because that’s who I am…someone constantly chasing that next dream, sometimes long before that current dream is over.  And it’s not limited to changing jobs either, because I’ve done things that others wouldn’t even try (jumped out of airplanes, flew solo in a glider, traveled extensively overseas, took on impossible projects with no expectation or thought of failure, etc), although I wouldn’t call myself an adventurer or irrational optimist in any sense.

But lately I’ve been wondering if the desire to change and the constant chasing of dreams ever starts to wane?  Is it possible that at some point in our lives we let caution take over for that insatiable quest for the next exciting opportunity?

I hope not.  And over the next few days I’m going to focus on my “Top 100” things I want to do before I die.  Maybe by focusing on those things I still want to do, those things I have done thus far won’t be so fulfilling that I lose my desperate desire to change and my constant quest for that next fascinating adventure.

And this weekend, I can scratch one of those off my list.  Back in the 90’s I went up on the real Eiffel Tower, and this weekend, Denise and I went up to the top of the fake Eiffel Tower!  Both give you that queasy feeling when you look down!

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When I’m mentally and physically wiped out, sometimes it’s good to both mentally and physically wander.  In wandering, I see, hear, smell and think things that give me pause. 

This morning, I went through that process.

I saw this:

I heard this:

I smelled this:

And I thought this:

This morning I thought about love.  In the midst of the insanity, when so many things are weighing me down, I can still find time to love, and in loving, I always seem to find love in return.  The burdens seem greater when I get focused on transactions and push aside or behind the love that needs to be up front. 

Weekends are most certainly a time for rest.  But equally as important, weekends are a time for love, a time for a reminder about our priorities, a time for mental and physical wandering, and a time for rejuvenation.

I’m glad it’s the weekend!

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I always wondered where that phrase came from…but I most certainly understand what it means.  The more I do, the more there seems to need to be done.  The more I focus, the more things there are that seem to need focus.  The more I know I need to relax, the less I feel I have time to relax.  Maybe that blowout on the candle was telling me something? 

I find myself burning more candles now, and I do indeed find myself today “burning the candle at both ends”.

For those of you who also are “burning the candles at both ends”, it’s not sustainable.  We all know that.  It always catches up with us, and eventually our minds and bodies just shut down.  They know we need rest, and they’ll find a way to force us to rest if we don’t moderate our actions and get to that restful state ourselves.

I’m so thankful that our Creator gave us the example – “By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.”  For me, the seventh day sometimes comes on the third day…that’s all my mind and body can take.  At other times, that seventh day comes after three months of high pressure and intense focus on some particular effort.  In one particular case, that seventh day came after 14 months of relentless work to get 3 years worth of work done in time for an important mission activity.  On that “seventh day”, I collapsed.  I was way beyond the need for rest at that time.

We’re all different and our minds and bodies signal us in very different ways.  The headaches I have right now from the focus on specific facts and detailed data is telling me I’m beyond the time for rest.  The creaks from my bones and the moans from my joints also tell me it’s beyond the time for real rest.

I need to learn from the example given by our Creator, and listen to the clear and increasingly loud voices of my mind and body.

It’s time to rest.

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I woke up this morning desperately seeking smiles.

Quite a bit of stress lately.

Working through some tough issues.

My journey through the Bible has taken me this morning to Ecclesiastes. 

I read Chapter 2 today.

Definitely not a lot of smiles there.

I did smile as I walked around outside with the dog-that-won’t-die named Gizmo.

It’s a beautiful day again.

But I found a big smile when I sat down and looked at the pictures from yesterday on Denise’s camera.

Here’s what I found:

Don’t know how that happened!

25 quick shots…all slightly different as the three maybe not so willing participants moved!

I can only imagine what life would be like if every moment of our life was captured in a series of quick snapshots like this.

In looking at ourselves, would we see joy?

Would we see worry?

Would we see the stress and obvious strain of life?

Would we be staring into the distance, excited about what’s to come or concerned for our future?

Would we see love?

Would we sense happiness or see the obvious signs of sadness?

George Strait has a song out called “I Saw God Today”.  It goes like this:

I’ve been to church

I’ve read the book

I know he’s here

But I don’t look

Near as often as I should,

Yeah, I know I should

His fingerprints are everywhere

I just slowed down to stop and stare

Opened my eyes and man I swear

I saw God today.

I just listened to it – I Saw God Today.

We’ve had beautiful children join our family lately.

Here’s one, lots of attitude, but incredible beauty:

And here’s another one, too early for much attitude, but serenity beyond belief at times:

He’s just beyond his due date now and already been in this world for more than a month!

When I woke up this morning, I saw sunshine.

I saw beauty.

I saw smiles.

I heard laughter.

I saw majestic mountains.

I saw people walking by, running by, driving by.

I saw the gift of life.

I held a gift of life.

I heard music.

I too saw God today.

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