Musings at Altitude

I spent 6 hours on the golf course yesterday!  I’d tell you I “golfed”, but that would be lying.  What I did would not be considered golf by most people, although I did swing the club a lot.  In fact, I lost 10 balls in those 6 hours, and thankfully, since it was a best ball format for the tournament, none of those balls that I lost ever mattered!  What did matter was that one of our group always put it in the fairway off the tee (never me obviously), and because we were in a good position to hit our second shot, we typically were on the green in regulation and thus putting for birdies.  We ultimately ended up at -9 for the round, which was comfortably in the top half of the tournament, but nowhere near the winning score.  I believe the winning score was -13 or -14, and at least two other teams were at -11.

We had 28 full teams for the tournament, with a shotgun start to kick it off.  Because of the number of teams, every hole had at least one foursome at the start, and since many had two, there was a lot of time for pondering and partnering (golf is after all the ultimate place to do business).  In our foursome, we had one avid golfer (120 rounds last year) with a low handicap.  We also had one good golfer but not avid (likes to play but can’t get out a lot).  And then we had two whackers, who probably would never really be called golfers by anyone who really knows and likes the game.  I was obviously one of the whackers.

As I watched our foursome, we quickly fell into a routine and an order.  The avid golfer had a range finder, so every shot started with an estimated yardage to the point where we wanted the ball to end up.  He would relay that yardage to the rest of us, and based on that yardage, we would all pull out our clubs.  Our club selection would be very different, but we’d all fairly quickly decide which club and get ready to hit.  With clubs in hand, the two of us that had the most challenge hitting the ball went first and then the two that were good golfers went last.  If by some miracle, one of the first two of us hit it long and straight, then the other two had freedom to wail on the ball and see how far they could hit it.  If the two of us going first both went into the woods (that happened quite frequently), the last two needed to be just a bit less aggressive on their shots to make sure we had one playable and preferably in the fairway.  This routine and rotation worked fairly well for us, as you can tell from our score.

Though each of us was very different in our ball striking capabilities, we all went through a very similar decision process when selecting clubs.  Four things played into the selection:

1. Range – each of us knew how far we could hit any particular club, so picking the right club based on the range was easy
2. Wind – if the wind was against us we went down a club or two…if the wind was behind us, we went up a club or two
3. Hazard – if sand or water were close to our landing spot, we’d potentially take a club higher to take the hazard out of play (although I would typically hit into it anyway) or even lay up so we wouldn’t get that far
4. Immediate Past Performance – if the first hitters were out of play or in bad positions, our final hitters might change their club to better guarantee a playable shot

The time to decide on which club to hit was directly proportional to the number of issues that came into play.  On every shot, range was an issue, but club selection was very easy if range was the sole issue.  On many of the holes, wind and hazards were issues.  And on a handful of holes, wind, hazards, and immediate past performance were all issues.  The time to select a club would go from single digit seconds up to a couple of minutes as the number of issues grew. 

In the end, as our -9 score would attest, we did a decent job of selecting clubs and striking the ball (as a team), but decent wasn’t good enough to win this tournament.  At least one other team was obviously exceptional at it!

As you might have figured out from my fairly in depth discussion of decision making in golf, I can’t help but compare it to business.  We do the same thing in business – determine the range, get the environmental conditions, identify the hazards, and learn from immediate past performance.  With that data, we make decisions and execute shots.  Just like in golf, the number of issues and the severity of each issue greatly affects the decision making process.

Good companies just like good golfers assess each factor, select the right club, and execute the right shot.  Great companies do this decisively!

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…when you have a second set of toiletries that stays in bags just for your travels

…when you have two different bags to choose from that look exactly alike, and you pick the one that has the least travel damage to take on this particular trip

…when you put a thousand miles on the car in any given month traveling back and forth to the airport

…when a significant amount of quality time with your wife is on the trip to and from the airport

…when your body clock has to adjust two hours one way, two hours back and then two hours the other way in a period of five days

…when you experience three or four different versions of English, all in the same week

…when good friends start the conversation with “are you in town this week” before asking if you want to get a cup of coffee

…when you see your friends and business colleagues more in the airport than in a social or business environment

…when you remember the flight attendants from another flight you took in the last month

…when you schedule your trips to the cleaners to coincide with having clothes for your next trip

…when you know where the Red Carpet Club is in every airport you frequent

…when you get excited if a trip gets cancelled so you can unexpectedly stay at home

…when you can upgrade almost every trip because you have so many miles and so many upgrade certs free from the airlines

…when you see the same movie three different times in one month because you travel the same direction on the same airline

…when you recognize the Captain’s voice when he comes on the intercom to welcome you to flight such and such

…when you get on the plane and recognize many of those sitting around you because you’ve traveled with all those other folks that travel too much

and, last but not least…

…when you get the card in the mail that says “Million Mile Flyer”!

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I was standing on my porch this morning, taking in the wonderful coolness of the morning air, and I looked over at my almost 220,000 mile car and smiled…it still looks good…even after those miles and all those years!

Then I walked down around the car to get to the garage to turn on the sprinklers, and I quickly realized that though my car looks awesome from a distance, it’s not quite the same on close inspection.

Up close, you see the scars of road battles.  Up close, you see the dents from the doors slamming in the sides.  Up close, you see the scrapes down the side from failures to look in the rear view mirrors.  Up close, you see the aging seats and the stains from the many drinks that were spilt.

Even with all the aging, I still get a kick out of driving her.  I still “feel the power” as her 240 horsepower engine gets me up to speed on the interstate.  I still crank up the volume on the radio and belt it out with my favorite songs.  I still smile when I realize she started this morning and didn’t give it up just yet.

There’s something very special about things that age so well, and there’s something very meaningful in every scratch, every scrape, every stain, and every dent.

I think I’ll keep her!

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We woke up to a beautifully cool morning…eastern clouds blocking the recently scorching sun that has blistered the grass into numerous shades of burnt green…western mountains reaching high and still capturing the sun and making for that purple mountains majesty that reminds me every morning of how spectacular this place really is…a family of 5 deer lazily munching on their breakfast on the slopes of the creek bed behind our house…all wonderful reminders of how awesome God must be to provide so many reminders of how meticulous He was in His creation to give us so many things as provisions and so much to stand in awe about.

Genesis 1:29-31 –

Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it.  They will be yours for food.  And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and in it – I give every green plant for food.”  And it was so.  God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

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Last night I slept!

From the time I laid down till 5:00 in the morning or so when I heard our granddaughter crying on the monitor.

And then I slept some more, till about 7:30 when I finally got up and got showered!

I almost forgot how good it feels to rest.

And I really do now feel rested!

In fact, I cleaned up my office…completely…top of the desk too…almost everything off the floor…dusted…threw away three bags of trash!

Life is good!

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It started a lot earlier tonight, and from the moment I laid down, I realized that rest was not soon to come.  Rather than fight it, I immediately got up and went into the office.  In this time that I’ve been up, I’ve been able to think through the things I need to get done tomorrow, print off some things that I’ve had stacked up for the last month, and even taken small steps towards cleaning up my way-too-messy home office.  If these sleepless nights continue, I can foresee my office being spotless by the end of the month!

A good friend asked today if stress could be causing it, and honestly, I’m feeling no more stress that what I would consider normal.  In fact, there were many times in my life where stress was much more severe than now – without a job; without a paycheck; mounting credit card balances; great frustrations and enormous friction between friends or coworkers; countdown before a launch; etc – and I never had trouble sleeping.  That’s the one thing I could always count on.  When I could lay down, sleep came quickly and it lasted for a minimum of six hours and typically eight or more.

Which makes this even stranger.

For now anyway, I’m going to take advantage of these two extra hours in each day.  That’s more time to ponder, more time to muse, more time to worship, more time to plan, more time to clean, and more time to prepare myself for the inevitable challenges of the coming day.

That’s not such a bad thing!

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Our granddaughter turned one yesterday, and we were blessed to have her with us (from Beaumont, TX) as well as our four month old grandson!

We took that rare opportunity to get a picture of the grandparents with the two grandchildren!

This is a keeper!

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Over the last couple of decades, I’ve tried what seems like every daily planning tool that’s come out – the Daytimer’s, the daily and weekly calendars, the various workflow manager type tools, and none of them have worked for me.  I use them for a few days, typically not much more, and then I chuck that idea and look for the next best thing to help me prioritize the time in my day.

Lately, I’ve been going back to basics - using just a normal notepad of paper, and starting each day with my own layout:

Amazingly enough, this one is sticking.  I like its simplicity, and I like the cost!

If you’re having trouble seeing the different sections, here they are, clockwise from top right:

• Contacts
• Reminders
• Prayers
• Notes
• To Do’s
• Schedule

The date is centered at the top.

For a guy that is so opposed to any form of structure or organization in my typical business day, this format has proven perfect to plan what I need to get done, to track who I come in contact with each day, to remind me of those nagging things I still need to get done, and to write down those prayer requests that often times come in and then get lost in the happenings of the day.

As I fill up one page, I just got to the next page.  If I have a light schedule and only a few known to do’s on a given day, then I have just the column down the right and notes on the next page.  As I fill up one notebook, I tuck that away (just in case I ever need to go back, and yet I never do) and pop another note pad in and keep on going.

Once again, this one seems to work for me.  And if something you do becomes a habit after you’ve done it about 25 straight times, then I’ve now got a habit.

And a cheap one too!

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It’s like clockwork.

Go to bed at 10:30 or 11:00.

Toss.  Turn.  Wheeze.  Cough.  Shake the bed.  Wake up Denise.

Leave the bedroom for the office about midnight.

I’m certainly consistent right now.

Dependently restless.

Restlessly dependent.

Now I’m starting to wonder what’s causing this.

Once or twice was unusual; the third time was frustrating; but four times is disturbing.

Even more disturbing…I’m not feeling the effects of highly interrupted sleep during the day…and I know it has to eventually catch up with me.

And today I had the day off.

Spent much of this special day with my family…our granddaughter’s first birthday…our grandson with us as well…captured a very special moment this morning:

This one made everyone smile!

Got many, many great pictures.

Had one of those days nutritionists love to hate:

• McDonalds for breakfast
• Carl’s Junior for lunch
• Pizza for supper

None of us minded!

Went to the base personnel office.

Went to the cleaners.

Went to the store – needed desert for this undeniably bad food day.

Visited the Denver Aquarium…amazing variety of fish…stunning beauty…stunning ugliness…all in the same tanks.

Sat on the driveway near the end of the day…on an old desk chair with wheels…making calls that had been put on hold all day as I enjoyed my family.

Enjoyed the absolute majesty of a beautiful day in a spectacular place.

Watched America’s Got Talent…saw some stay…saw some go.

And a bit later, went to bed.

And now I’m here.

Lost in my music again.

Knowing I should be sleeping.

But I can’t.

My scripture reading this morning took me to one of my favorite passages in the Bible -  Isaiah 52:13 – 53:12.

This passage foretells the disfiguring of Christ in route to His victory over death.

Not-so-coincidentally, as I read this now, I’m listening to Why by Nichole Nordeman.  When I read, “his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness” and then leap forward to “therefore I will give him a portion among the great and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death”, I cringe at the suffering and yet rejoice in the outcome.  I often wonder if I were a witness or a follower back then, would I have been like the Peter that drew the sword and cut off the ear of the soldier, or would I have been like the Peter that denied knowing Christ three times?  I’d hope the former, but I fear the latter. 

Actions versus words.

Obedience versus playing games.

Fulfilling our purpose and yielding to God’s plan versus charting our own course and doing our own thing.

Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

   and though the Lord makes his life a guilt offering,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

   and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.

After the suffering of his soul,

   he will see the light of life, and be satisfied;

by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,

   and he will bear their iniquities.

If He did that for me, what will I do for him?

Actions or words?

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Dictionary.com defines habit as “a recurrent often unconscious pattern of behavior that is acquired through frequent repetition”. 

I think I’m going to define habit instead as “getting up after midnight every night in a totally restless and uncomfortable state”.

I’m back at my desk for the third night in a row, having gone to sleep with a desperate hope for sustained rest, but finding no relief from my middle of the night discomfort.

It’s fascinating and baffling all at the same time.  The restlessness begins just after midnight, and it ends in a peaceful slumber about 2:00 am.

But during those two hours, so many things go through my head, some directly tied to the burdens of the day, and then others brought on by the prayerful worship impassioned by my favorite songs.  The more I get lost in the music, the further away those burdens seem to be.  The further away those burdens seem to be, the more the peace sets in. 

Tonight, I’m thankful to Chris Tomlin for his song, Made to Worship. 

He has filled our hearts with wonder

So that we always remember

You and I were made to worship

You and I are called to love

You and I are forgiven and free.

Is it possible that my restlessness is by design, and in that restlessness I find worship, and in that worship I find peace?

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