Musings at Altitude

What would it be like without mediators — those relatively unbiased participants in a meeting that work incredibly hard to reconcile the differences between parties with widely varying views or positions?

Today, I can testify to the fact that without mediators in the meetings I was in, nothing would have been accomplished.

The issues were intense.  The positions on each side were calcified. 

In preparations for the meetings, the participants were told to expect venom from the opposing side.

And yet, nothing like that happened.

The mediators were awesome.

The intensity of positions was still there, but the desire to open a dialogue and the desire to understand those sitting on the other side of the table far outweighed the rush to win an argument.

And I give all the credit in each meeting to the mediators.

They did their jobs:

• before the meetings by allowing each party to vent and reminding each side that nothing would be accomplished if both parties were intransigent
• during the meeting by reminding each party of the value of taking an important first step
• at the end of the meeting by driving the discussion to a defined next step even though both sides struggled so mightily just getting to that first meeting
• and after the meeting with follow ups with both parties, focusing on the commonalities rather than the differences and reinforcing the commitments made during the meeting

As I think about the important issues that were discussed and the devastating consequences to one side or the other if some form of dialogue was not established, I’m very thankful to those who have the extraordinary talent to be a mediator.

I don’t.

I’m too emotional and too biased.

I struggle with seeing both sides of an issue.

I typically see compromise as a flat out loss, when in reality a compromise is a next step towards a possible win-win situation for both parties.

There obviously are times when compromise should not happen, but those are rare.

If you have good people on both sides of an issue, compromise should be possible.

But it certainly is harder without a good mediator.

To those that mediated today, thank you!