Musings at Altitude

I’ve had a pretty intense headache for almost two full days now.  And that seems to happen every time I have intense discussions before a meeting, severe anxiety about that meeting, and then extreme focus during the meeting.  I had one of those meetings today. 

For the last month, I’ve been storming (no different than planning), politicking (no different than coordinating & collaborating) and scheming (no different than strategizing) in preparation for a board meeting where I knew from the beginning that the difference in opinion and the diversity in culture would create a tense environment from the start and a real potential of a verbal war between board members before we even got to the real meat of the discussions.  And yet, we had to come to closure on issues that have been tormenting us for years and have been preventing us from becoming the kind of organization that we have to be in the midst of growing antagonists and adversaries.

So the more I prepared (no different than worrying), the worse the headache became.  And the worse the headache became, the more I worried (very different than preparation).

So today was the day.  I drove to work making those pre-battle phone calls for support and motivation.  I got to work and quickly went through the cycle of storming, politicking, and scheming.  I then sought out distractions to get my mind off the pending battle, and in those distractions found some near term relief from the sense of pending doom.

The meeting lasted all of 4 hours, and none of the worst case scenario possibilities ever came up.  In fact, there was almost complete agreement on the issues and the corrective actions and the board members left shaking hands, scheduling follow on meetings and evidently feeling incredibly good about the discussion and the path forward.

Go figure.  My worries were groundless.  My belief that this meeting would be tense from the start and filled with outrage and resentment proved completely without merit.  Instead, the power of purpose and the desperate desire of business executives to build a meaningful and successful organization far outweighed their emotions and personal opinions.

I stand amazed.  I stand inspired.  I stand in awe of those potentially very explosive people who put egos aside and sought unity in purpose and consensus on an appropriate path forward.

But I still have a massive headache.