Musings at Altitude

Over the 33 years (almost to the day) that my wife and I have been communicating (from the time we first dated till now), we have a history of interpreting what’s said and what’s done in very different ways.  Of course, she’s got the memory of an elephant and never forgets anything – at least her version of what’s happened.  I’ve got the memory of a gnat, and once it’s said or done, history can be revised constantly based on what I think I might have said or done based on the circumstances as I remember them.  I don’t see a problem with that.  She certainly does.  Enjoy the banter below.

He said:  “I’m convinced that I really didn’t know what love was when we got married.”

She said (in a flood of tears):  “You didn’t love me when we got married.”

His view:  I still haven’t recovered from this one said in 1993, because she reminded me of it again this morning!  We were at a Chart House restaurant in Houston, TX, and I was trying to be loving and sentimental, letting her know that I’d learned what love really was in my growing relationship with her.  In my attempt to be loving and candid in our relationship, instead, I unleashed a Niagara Falls of tears in the middle of an upscale eating establishment.

Her view:   First, I didn’t bring it up this morning…he did.   So I shouldn’t be penalized when I once again brought up all those feelings from that conversation.   When you find out after you have been married for 11 years, and have 2 children, that your husband didn’t know if it was love when he married you, emotions have a way of taking over.  I knew it was love, therefore it was hard for me to understand that he didn’t know that until years later.

He said:  “I found a house.  I think you’ll like it, but if you don’t, we’ll only be there a year.”

She said:  “Crap.  We’re in trouble.”

Her view:  I stayed in Los Angeles with the kids while he went to Alabama to look for a house for us to rent.  He had 3 days to look.  3 DAYS!!  After one day of looking (probably half a day!), he called to tell me that he found a house.  He said the above statement.  So I knew that there was something wrong with it.  There had to be.  He has no patience whatsoever to really look for something appropriate.  He wanted it done quick and hassle-free.  So for a year, we were in this house that was very outdated, had horrible appliances, an overgrown back yard, gross wallpaper everywhere and brown toilets and sinks!!  And don’t get me started on the bugs and mice we had to deal with!!!

His view:  We got the assignment to Alabama very late, and by the time I got there, most of the available properties had already been rented.  The ones that were left, were quickly being scarfed up by the other families with these last minute orders.  I felt I had no choice.  I felt I had to make a quick decision to take care of my family and ensure that we had some form of accommodation in an area where the selection by that time was incredibly sparse.  I did what was right for the family, and I’ve been harassed and ridiculed ever since!

She said:  “Where’s the baby going to go?”

He said:  “We can strap her into the luggage compartment.”

His view:  I was feeling pretty good about things in 1985, and I was having an early mid life crisis.  We definitely needed a different car with a child on the way.  I took it upon myself to do the right thing for our family and stopped by a Nissan dealership in Alexandria, VA.  When I got on the lot, I walked by all the “perfect family cars”, and I was immediately attracted to this very elegant looking 300ZX.  Imagine how cool my wife would look driving that car and that baby would look strapped into the very small compartment at the back of that car!  I thought it was cool.  I put a deposit down on the car.  I drove it back to the hotel and proudly called my wife.  She destroyed me with her immediate question.  What about how impressed everyone would be with her and the baby in that car?  It sure seemed like the right thing to do to me.  Unfortunately, we ended up with a 4 door Nissan Sentra.  What fun is that?

Her view:  We did need a new car.  The backseat of the Camaro didn’t fit a baby car seat at all.  The thing is, instead of shopping around and looking at our options for a second car, he happened to pass by this dealership, on the spur of the moment stopped to look, and walked out with a car that HAD NO BACKSEAT!  Really?  It was  my duty as a wife and soon to be mommy to point out to him the error of his ways.  That car was not going to work.   There was no option but to make him return it and get our money back.  Duh!!  The Sentra may not have been the fun choice, but it was the practical choice.  FOR A BABY!!!

That’s probably enough, but there are probably thousands more.

As we finished up the three examples above, we had this quick exchange:

She said:  “Do you have any examples where I look bad?”

He said: “No.”

That just about sums it up.