Musings at Altitude

As we get close to the end of the year, do our assessment of how we did this past year and develop resolutions for commitments we want to make for next year, I bet we each spend at least some part of our time thinking about what others think of us.  Some of us may even actually do some public self-assessments, allowing others to provide feedback and recommend things we need to improve on (I actually do that).

For those who do get feedback from others, how do you rack and stack that feedback?  Do you value some more than others, and do you automatically toss feedback from those you may not respect?

I greatly value the candid feedback from those I respect, and I act on that feedback almost immediately.  But I spend the most time reviewing, pondering, and even stewing on the feedback that comes from those that I may not respect, because that feedback typically tells me things that the valued feedback from those I trust may not convey or provide.

Historically, I’ve made the most important changes quickly (sort of like a significant emotional event), and almost all of those changes came from recommendations from those I trust.

But this may surprise you…I’ve made the most significant strategic changes in my life based on feedback that came from those I may have valued or trusted the least…after stewing on it for awhile…after overcoming some distress or even anger…because then I figure out that they may have been right even if I valued their opinion the least.

One clear example – a senior officer in the military once told me that I would probably do well in life but it wouldn’t be in the military…my style wasn’t conducive to the hierarchy and rank protocols (in his opinion) of that career (in his words).  I stewed on that (sometimes angrily) for almost 3 years and then decided he very well might be right and made some decisions that I don’t regret at all that led me down a very different path.

I didn’t change who I was by making that change, but I certainly charted a very different course in my life after hearing that.

Reach out and get feedback from anyone that will give it to you.  Then make changes based on that feedback provided from those you respect and trust.  And stew on the feedback that comes from others that may not fit in that “respect” or “trust” category.

That may ultimately change your life in very meaningful ways.