Musings at Altitude

Even though I’ve been desperately seeking nirvana for as long as I can remember, I’m not sure I’m any closer today to finding it than I was when I first began my search.  It’s an incredibly elusive target, but I’m not going to give up…if I find it just for moments at a time, it’s worth every minute spent in the search.

For those who don’t know nirvana, dictionary.com defines it as “an ideal condition of rest, harmony, stability, or joy”.  I think it’s key that the definition uses an “or” instead of an “and”, because I’m not sure the totality of rest, harmony, stability and joy could ever be achieved, but I’m pretty sure that the individual state of rest, harmony, stability or joy could at some moment, or for some short period of time, be a very special event – I think that’s what I’m seeking!

So, if that’s what I’m seeking, let me real quickly define a specific scenario that would get about as close to nirvana as I could ever imagine - sitting on the back deck looking at the perfect sunset at the perfect temperature with the perfect breeze and the perfect bottle of wine, with the perfect silence from business activities, sharing the beauty of creation and the perfection of that moment with the perfect match for me on this journey of life.  That sure isn’t asking for much and yet it’s been so incredibly elusive.

I’ve been so close to nirvana at times, and in fact probably achieved nirvana in very short moments when the challenges of life seemed momentarily in check.  But something always seems to break that momentary bliss with something dramatic that creates stress and drives concern.  It’s that “perfect silence from business activities” that is so elusive, but the only way to really achieve silence in business may mean to not be in business at all…and that certainly would not be nirvana.  At other times, though, the bliss is broken by challenges with the family or disruptions in my personal activities that create undo stress and unneeded irritation.  Those seem to be overcome much more quickly than the challenges in business which could go days, weeks, months or even years.

So I keep seeking that bliss that passes by so quickly, and I yearn to capture it, package it, embrace it and employ it at moments of my chosing.  i wouldn’t mind at all being able to pull out a global DVD called “Niravana”, put it in a worldwide player, and sit back and stare in awe at God’s creation knowing that all interruptions have been put on hold and true rest, harmony, stability AND joy have been achieved.  That would be cool.  That would revive me. 

But then why would I ever take out that DVD?  Maybe because the challenge, the disruption, and the interruption in some way creates that appreciation and desire for nirvana, and without the chaos, even nirvana wouldn’t be nirvana.  I think I’ll just keep seeking nirvana and maybe seeking itself will get me close enough to experience some peace if not necessarily the rest, harmony, stability and joy.