Musings at Altitude

Over my 28 years of post college education, I’ve been blessed with very intense moments of learning that came from the candid and very honest responses from people replying to things I asked or things I said.  Here are three of those that I remember so vividly even today:

(1)    “Don’t ask for feedback if you don’t want to hear it.”  When I was a young communications officer in the Air Force, I laid out a plan that I thought was quite brilliant.  In fact, it was so brilliant I knew it would positively change the way we were serving our customers at that time and bring great praise and credit to our organization!  As I brought the team together and laid out my plan, I asked them for candid feedback, fully believing I would get the smiles and approval that I was sure was coming.  When I was done talking, a very wise member of my team challenged some of my core premises and identified several flaws in what I wanted to do and what he thought could be accomplished.  As he talked, I flared and eventually cut him off, not wanting to hear what he had to say and certainly not believing what he was saying to be true.  He then said those words that I still remember today…”don’t ask for feedback if you don’t want to hear it.”  And he said it in front of an entire room of people.  I sat back speechless because I knew he was right…about both the flaws in my plan and my hypocrisy about asking for feedback and then not really wanting to hear any of it.  I apologized for my actions and then thanked him for doing exactly what I really needed him and the others to do.  We went on together then to make the plan better and it then did indeed positively change the way we served our customers.  Lesson learned – mean what you say because someone will rightfully take you seriously.

(2)    “Then go do it.”  A few years after the learning experience above, I was called by my customer and asked to report to his office.  When I entered, he threw a proposal at me from one of our contractors and asked me what I thought about it.  I looked at who the proposal was from and then looked at the price – $45M – and then looked at the proposed timing – 14 months – and without even thinking, I said, “based on who it’s from, I could do it for 1/3^rd that price in that same amount of time.”  Without a moment’s hesitation, he said, “Then go do it.”  I certainly didn’t expect that response, and I wasn’t prepared for what it would then take to deliver on my cocky and very poorly thought out response.  For the next 14 months, that project became my life as I focused every fiber of my being trying to deliver on the flippant comment that became a commitment that he then held me accountable for.  Thanks to the heroic efforts of lots of other people who bailed me out, we did indeed deliver the project 2 days short of 14 months and less than 1/3^rd the cost that was proposed.  Lesson learned – when you pop off with what you think you can do, don’t be surprised if someone then holds you accountable to deliver against what you said.

(3)    “You need to learn when to ask for help.”  After leaving the Air Force, I served as the head of client services for a company focused on delivering that next great customer care and billing solution to our customers.  As our engineering and software development teams struggled to deliver against expectations, our customers continued to get more frustrated and the issues that I was facing continued to stack up.  I hunkered down and worked through things in a very serial fashion, creating even more frustration for our customers and ultimately causing undo dismay and challenges for our company.  As the issues mounted, the head of the company and my boss called me in and said, “You need to learn when to ask for help.”  He was right.  Even after years of learning, I was still guilty of taking the “Rambo” approach, sensing if I worked harder or focused more intently I could solve the problems on my own and prevent those problems from being problems for others in the organization.  But it rarely works that way.  Just like the all too true saying, “you don’t lead alone”, you don’t typically solve serious problems alone either.  Lesson learned – there’s something magical when burdens are shared and all team members are mutually aligned to solve the toughest of problems.  It’s true regardless of role or responsibility in an organization. 

I’m very thankful to those who had the courage to provide very candid feedback and equally as thankful to those who held me accountable to produce when I popped off with thoughtless and seemingly irrational commitments.  These have stuck with me for years, and I can still remember who said them, where we were when they were said, and how I felt and reacted based on their comments. 

I guess that’s when you know you learned something…when it’s etched in your mind and in those quiet moments at altitude you relive it and smile.